Being Mindful and Forgiving

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the lunatic prisoner was you.  ~  Louis B. Smedes.

There has never been much forgiveness in my life, and mostly I have been very unforgiving of myself.  I expect to cope, whatever happens, and be a high achiever.  At times I can act like a lunatic.

This has led me into a very disruptive pattern in my life.  A pattern which others can often recognise better than I can.  These words of advice were sent to me a couple of days ago, by a very good friend.  This is how she describes my life.

  1. High on Life …… very optimistic….. on top of the world.
  2. Sexual buzz is strong.
  3. I forget all the things that were said when I tried to confront past problems and issues
  4. Minor irritation sets in when I don’t feel appreciated.  I become resentful and mistrustful.
  5. I start looking for the hidden dark meaning in things said, or not said.  Become more distrustful, and often angry ~ often very angry with myself.
  6. Get totally pissed-off when feelings, emotions, and thoughts that have no basis in truth fill my mind.  Start to apply twisted logic to situations and conversations.
  7. Voices in my mind tell me to escape, say ‘Fuck It All’, and then I will have a drink or 10.
  8. Go missing from the world for days at a time, during which something very bad will happen.

That’s been the pattern of my life for a very long time.  I need to recognise it, and cut it off at the neck when the darker, depressive thoughts begin.

I agree with my friend that I need to try to live with inner peace, mindfulness, and serenity.

Escaping into booze is no solution.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Marmaduke lives very peacefully

6 responses

  1. Another one of your posts I saved in my emails. You always help me. Thank you! xoxooxox

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Keep alert to the signs Jack. 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very perceptive indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. An apt description!
    Knowing should be half the battle, just continue to pay attention.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Robynbird. Your words are always wise. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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