Be Cool With The Past

You can never get away from where you’ve been.

We cannot change the past, we can only change the ways feel think and feel about the past.  Most people have brutal, painful, and regrettable memories of their past.  Events from the past have created who we are today, and events from the past will affect us today, tomorrow, next week, next year, and maybe until the day we die and beyond…..

Some of us may say that we are OK with the past, that things that happened in our childhood and adolescence do not haunt us at all.  But beware, even if you are not aware of it, everything that you have experienced in the past; good, bad, terrible, traumatic, joyful, boring….. is affecting your sub-conscious today.

Nobody, up to and including you and me, is completely at peace with their past.  We cannot, and should not, forget the past.  Our past creates in us feelings of anxiety, bitterness, disappointment, doubt, guilt, fear, frustration, hurt, regret, rejection, sadness…..  and most of us recall and remember the negatives from our past more than we focus on the positives.

Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.  ~  Chuck Palahniuk

Some of us try to run away from our past; changing where we live, drifting from one relationship to another, changing jobs, drinking too much, taking drugs, attempting suicide, and metaphorically running away to join the circus. But none of that running away ever works, for wherever we go we take the past with us.  (Even if a suicide attempt fails it will most likely do irreparable damage to the body, mind, and spirit.)

For some of us it’s even worse, because we are also affected by the past of someone who is very close to us, and emotions created by someone else’s past are incredibly difficult to deal with.  This is doubly so if our ‘friend’ hasn’t themselves fully come to terms with their own past.

To be cool with the past we must first be motivated to deal with the past.  We need to understand what really happened in the past, not just some biased half-memories that we use to fuel our negative emotions today.  Try to find out what really happened in the past.  Be willing to talk about and fully explore issues from the past.  Stop pretending that everything from the past is fine, when most likely it isn’t.  Acknowledge your true feelings, whether they be loss, hurt, shame, anger…..

You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.  ~  Iyanla Vazant.

Depending how deeply the past affects us, we may need help to come to terms with what happened, how it affected us, and who we are today because of the past.  Speaking to family and friends may help, you may need to see your doctor or a therapist, you may talk with your priest or spiritual adviser, you may need something like hypnosis, or you may just need to really meditate, read inspirational books, listen to motivational lectures, or just go for a long walk in the sunshine.

With any luck we may find out that the past is better than we feared.  But, no matter if the past is better or worse than we think we remember, we cannot move on from something we don’t understand and we refuse to accept.

That’s the past for you.  Not only does it come back at the most unexpected and inconvenient times, but it’s set in stone.  ~  Jeffery Deaver.

There may well be things from the past that need resolution.  This might be very difficult, but the longest journey starts with the first baby-step.  Be honest.  Be self-aware.  Be kind with yourself.  Seek to understand yourself.  Be kind and understanding towards others.  And, give yourself time to heal.

A ship does not sail with yesterday’s wind.  ~  Louis L’Amour

Some say that we can become cool with the past by keeping a positive outlook and a strong determination to succeed in finding joy instead of negative emotions.  And, that the past only exists in our memories and imagination.  All I know is that the past isn’t actually here.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

If what you’re doing isn’t working,

then do something else instead.

12 responses

  1. If it isn’t here – let’s go out and enjoy today 😉✌️
    Great post

    Like

  2. I wish you only love and light ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I appreciate your kindness. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Acceptance. Forgiveness. Gratitude. Love. Grace.
    These particular words are my everything when it comes to my past.
    Anger is a way to feel in control of your underlying emotions, but ultimately, all anger does is waste your energy and poisons you.

    Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. ~ Mark Twain

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wasted a lot of time being angry about the past, and words like Acceptance, Love, and Grace would have meant nothing to me while I was utterly consumed with anger, bitterness, and resentments. Forgiveness and Gratitude are still difficult for me, but at least I have sublimated anger into acceptance. For me, that’s been a big step.
      You know that I love Mark Twain quotes.
      Thank you Robynbird ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post! It is so hard forgetting certain things in our past.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. One thing that is very important is the past you. Forgive who you were. You didn’t know better, your reality tunnel was different.
    I used to be very angry at my past self but I’m over it now. Though I still struggle with the past, having flashbacks and all, I feel more at peace with it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for being so honest and open.
      Right now I’m pretty angry about everything in my past ~ but I’m working on it. ❤ ❤

      Like

  6. I agree! I know that when I found a few people from my past, I learned a whole lot and was able to get past it.
    It is very important!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am working hard to get over everything that upsets me about the past, with the help of a very close friend. ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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