Feeling Weird

the angst of solitude, where you’re alone with the cosmos.

I have just been through the Dark Night of the Soul.

Last evening I felt very strange ~ for no readily apparent reason.

Mentally I was quite depressed and melancholy, with a feeling of deep angst thrown in.

My thoughts were wandering into dark places I didn’t want to go ~ places that in the past would certainly have driven me towards strong drink as a way of escape from my own tortured mind.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.  ~  George Bernard Shaw.

Physically I felt weak, my arms and legs were as heavy as lead, and I had severe peripheral neuropathy in my hands and forearms.

It is said that our feelings are kept in our body, and that if we don’t deal with those feelings they will surface as physical symptoms ~ particularly if those feelings are causing undue stress.

Overall, this was extremely painful and mentally uncomfortable ~ I had to reach out to a close friend for support.

I believe that what is going on with me, both mentally and physically, is due to all the introspection I’ve experienced through diligently working through the Hay House World Summit programme.  And let me tell you, twenty hours of this in a week is a lot of work.

This is all to the good.  It means that I’m not wasting my time with all these audio lessons and films.  It means that deep down in my subconscious I’m turning over the dead earth of my past traumas, character defects, and negativity.  It means that I am creating a new and better view of myself, my relationships, the world, and the cosmos.

It may be that I am truly walking the warrior’s path.

At least I sincerely hope and believe that’s what is happening to me.

Spiritually, mentally, and physically I still feel like crap today.  However, sometimes there has to be a little pain along the way before we get to those sunlit meadows of inner peace.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

12 responses

  1. Jack, this is one of those posts that helped me when I stood in the water today. Bless you and thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are welcome Kris. ❤ ❤ ❤
      Sometimes we all need just a little help from a friend.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You help me so much. You have no idea how often I turn to your posts and messages. xoxoxoxo

        Liked by 1 person

  2. sunlit meadows of peace rock, see you there Jack….you are a warrior and you will find the way, perhaps you’re already there in the parallel universe and just don’t realize it yet. Tag, you’re it…..now grab your kite and sprint towards the flowers 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you ~ you made me smile. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Your photography is breathtaking! I pray that you feel better soon. Pain is a difficult companion. Stay blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I very much appreciate your kind thoughts. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. That last sentence shows your tenacity and I know you will overcome and find peace after pain. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Some inner peace would be good right now. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sometimes we have to experience the pain associated with the death of the old to appreciated the birth of the new. Hang in there Jack and be well! 💛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Colette. ❤ ❤ ❤
      They say that a little bit of pain never hurt anybody, but right now my whole body hurts. How weird.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. As we rid the body of physical toxins we can feel quite unwell. So too with emotional cleansing… Unlocking the old traumas, memories and hurts can manifest in real physical symptoms. It is good to experience them because only then can you come to terms with their existence and deal with them.
        Sending you a healing hug. Be brave, because you are so close to sorting out that which gives you grief! 💓💓

        Liked by 1 person

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