Never let failure break your heart, tomorrow is another day.
There comes a time when one needs to close the book on the past. Things have changed for me – or rather I have admitted to myself that the world has changed around me. More than that, I have accepted that my whole world was nothing more than a fantasy of my own creation. My innermost wants, needs, desires, lusts, and obsessions have turned out to be nothing more than a chimera.
Reality has set in, and accepting reality has been a painful experience for me. I feel very much a complete failure.
For months I have been trying to maintain an illusion, and taking this vacation in California has shattered my illusions. I have realised that I can never have the life I thought I wanted, that I can never have the relationship I thought I wanted and needed. I have admitted to myself that I have been trying to change reality into a fairytale.
Trying again and again to change what is into what I want is insane.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Einstein
Therefore, what I need is a new plan.
The snag is, I don’t have one.
The upside is, I have realised that I’m a the bottom of a deep hole, and it’s time to stop digging. My Life may feel like utter hell right now, but I’ve been here before, and I know that I can find my way out of here.
All I need to do is work out where the road out of hell begins.