Sometimes, even the perfect passenger can be a totally dangerous pain in the ass.

When you’re driving at night, on roads you don’t know, in an unfamiliar vehicle, in heavy traffic, on the wrong side of the road – well right then there are some things you just don’t need.  You want all of your concentration devoted to the road – and not 90% of it used-up dealing with your opinionated, over-critical, smug, and uncaring friend.

It turns out that from time to time, after she’s had a little beer and wine, even the girl riding shotgun is a less than perfect passenger.

While a guy is driving, a reasonable passenger doesn’t:

• Criticise and then turn off your music
• Complain about the air conditioning – and then fuck-up the settings completely.
• Complain about her seat and headrest, and then take off the headrest all together, and then complain about that.
• Fiddle with the interior lighting, and totally fuck that up.
• Continually tell you that you’re driving too fast / too slowly / too far from the car in front.
• Continuously tell you that you’re too far to the left / too far to the right.
• Turn off your sat-nav when you have no real idea where you are.
• Give dangerous and reckless directions.
• Talk loudly and continuously about things you sincerely wish she had never, ever, even mentioned.

It’s that kind of behaviour that causes accidents.  Distracted drivers kill people.

But then, most people who regularly drive on California Freeways are just accidents waiting to happen.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Other than that she’s the passenger from Hell, I quite like ‘the girl riding shotgun’.