The Girl Riding Shotgun

Sometimes, even the perfect passenger can be a totally dangerous pain in the ass.

When you’re driving at night, on roads you don’t know, in an unfamiliar vehicle, in heavy traffic, on the wrong side of the road – well right then there are some things you just don’t need.  You want all of your concentration devoted to the road – and not 90% of it used-up dealing with your opinionated, over-critical, smug, and uncaring friend.

It turns out that from time to time, after she’s had a little beer and wine, even the girl riding shotgun is a less than perfect passenger.

While a guy is driving, a reasonable passenger doesn’t:

  • Criticise and then turn off your music
  • Complain about the air conditioning – and then fuck-up the settings completely.
  • Complain about her seat and headrest, and then take off the headrest all together, and then complain about that.
  • Fiddle with the interior lighting, and totally fuck that up.
  • Continually tell you that you’re driving too fast / too slowly / too far from the car in front.
  • Continuously tell you that you’re too far to the left / too far to the right.
  • Turn off your sat-nav when you have no real idea where you are.
  • Give dangerous and reckless directions.
  • Talk loudly and continuously about things you sincerely wish she had never, ever, even mentioned.

It’s that kind of behaviour that causes accidents.  Distracted drivers kill people.

But then, most people who regularly drive on California Freeways are just accidents waiting to happen.

jack collier


Other than that she’s the passenger from Hell, I quite like ‘the girl riding shotgun’.



8 responses

  1. Wow, what a pain in the… (insert sensitive body parg here). Was this before the stitches, or after? (Don’t answer that) you did well to put up with that. Your driving skills are impeccable

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, we all have our own problems.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Very true. I’m all for you man. Keep making the best of your vacation.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. YIKES!!! No one should ever act like that as a a passenger. No matter who is driving! Distractions are horrible. May you return to safer roads soon–although, are English ones safer? They drive on the wrong side there……

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In comparison to the L.A. freeways, English roads are like driving a pedal car around your own back yard. ❤
      Normal Californian driving would get you arrested for careless driving in the UK.
      Love and Hugs 💖❤💖

      Liked by 1 person

      1. !!!!!!!!!!!! I’m a weenie driver. I much much prefer being the quiet passenger.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Indeed. All of the above.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I blame the booze she’d quaffed. Will never happen again.

      Liked by 2 people

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