I’m Not In Love

When You Love Someone Nothing Else Matters

I thought that I was in love, but obviously I wasn’t.

I allowed things from the past that neither my friend nor I can change to hurt me.  If I was really in love then the past wouldn’t matter, only today would matter.  The past would be gone and over.

So, I screwed up, in a bad way.  I put myself into the past, where I am trapped.

The wounds and stitches on my face show just how bad I got hurt.

The question is, what can I do about it?

Well, I can’t even ask the right questions of myself.

I certainly can’t ask my friend any questions.  I wouldn’t want to know the answers.  The truth can hurt like nothing else.

I will just wait in this hotel for the dawn, and get through tomorrow with honestly, honour, and grace.  Sometimes waiting is all a man can do.

The rest of my life is on hold right now.

  • jack collier



3 responses

  1. “Breaking up is hard to do” — Neil Sedaka

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jack, I’ve been reading your last few posts. I’ve been off the grid, sort of. I was sorry to hear things have taken the turn they have for you. You would think things would go better than that on the sunshine coast but I think that is an illusion we create for ourselves. It is impossible to not let the past interfere with our present. Damn impossible. I’m trying to figure out what to do about it as well. Waiting, especially alone, is so very difficult. I wish you well. I wish it all gets better for you and that you heal swiftly. I wish I had some powerful words of wisdom that would help you get through this. Do you ever get sick and tired of people telling you that you are brave, that you are strong, that you can get through this? And just once have someone hold you with unconditional acceptance and love regardless of what has happened? I know I do and if you do as well, please know I’m doing that as much as I can through this connection virtually. (Yeah, I know it is a poor substitute for the real thing.) Be kind, not just to others but especially to yourself. We are only human after all, not superhuman, not really an advanced species at all, just human, flaws and all, and learning how to get along in this life without losing our sanity. ❤ ❤ ❤ ~Patti


    1. X ❤❤❤❤❤ X

      Liked by 1 person

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