Now is the time to enter a new and better world.
Here in the a Northern Hemisphere Vernal Equinox is upon us. Springtime. There should be joy in the morning light.
Some say that this is when we should release and clear away old timelines to make way for newer and better futures in our life. And, that old dreams, feelings, memories, and wounds will surface to be experienced for one last time, and then released. All I know is the most painful wounds I have are destroying me, and there seems to be little or nothing I can do about it.
I have learned nothing from the pain I am feeling, because it is not the result of anything I have done, or would ever do. These wounds were created by another, and they have given me nothing, taught me nothing, and brought no understanding nor reason into my life.
There is no clarity, enlightenment, or purity about my current state of mind. My feelings are confused, and my emotions feel as dirty as a pool of mud. There is still love in my spirit, but on the other side of the balance is a heavy pile it utterly black negativity.
It is to my own detriment that I cannot accept the divine vernal love which is being offered to me. It is because I know that the love I should be receiving is being offered to me by souls with dark pasts.
I have lost myconnection with the Cosmos, with Nature, with Honour and Truth, and with myself. I sincerely and honestly seek to heal myself, and to heal my relationships with all I care for. And yet, as I look inward, all I can see is a wounded and resentful being who is a very long way from acceptance, enlightenment, and understanding.
What once was is over, and can never be recreated.
It will need a miracle to create something good from the dark burning wreckage of my spirit. I need to turn the page on the past and leave all that once was behind me.
This Vernal Equinox I pray that there may be enough good energy to lift me from the slough of despair and despond I have fallen into.
I pray to my Goddess that this is so. I ask my Goddess to bring the Spring morning light to me.