Fear and Trepidation

Earlier this year I had the deepest fear of being alone in the garret over this Festive Holiday Season ~ that I would be filled with introspective dark and negative thoughts and feelings of self-loathing, pointlessness, depression, anxiety, and abandonment.  Well I am alone in the garret, but it’s not turning out like that at all.  I feel damn good, and while there is introspection, it’s neither dark nor negative.  On the contrary I feel positive and empowered.  I have faced and understood my fears ~ most of which came from my early childhood anyway.  My fears cannot overrun me now.

The deep introspection is there, along with much self-awareness and self-study.  Monday December 11th, while possibly being the most psychologically painful day of my life, was also a cathartic epiphany for me.  There are new beginnings turning to a new direction.  I believe these new beginnings are a spiritual regeneration for my soul.  I am aware that my personality is expanding, turning towards goodness, emotional stability, self-awareness, self-confidence, and well-being.  With the help of the Dreambook and Planner I am learning who I am, and discovering who I can become.  I am beginning to understand the lessons given to me, and through that I am becoming the master of my own life.

It is a new dawn for me.

 ~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net

3 responses

  1. So happy for your changing values! What a trip it is to reach out past the plateau and see the sunshine.
    Pretty soon you will be able to escape your garret and embrace the newer you in a world outside of four walls.
    HUGS and kisses!

    Like

  2. ❤️ doesn’t it feel good… one less fear dealt with… much love jack, barbara x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is wonderful, Jack! 🙂

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