What I seek is under a spell so only the worthy can find it.
There is a button inside my psyche, its marked Self-Destruct ~ do not press
I press buttons just to find out what they do, it’s part of who I am. Sometimes the little things I do create a huge and unholy mess on the scale of the Titanic disaster. Sometimes I need someone to save me from myself.
There are some things I’m searching for, and failure to make progress in any one of these quests can lead me to pressing the Self-Destruct button ~ usually with painfully disastrous results. The snag is, the things I’m searching for aren’t easy to find. But then, nothing worthwhile is ever easy, and sometimes I’m not even certain what it is I am seeking…
A deeper, enhanced, more emotional, more meaningfully spiritual, enlightened reality ~ connected not just to my id, but to my entire body, mind, and soul.
Relationships that are mutually supportive and in harmony, and not always on the verge of self-destruction. A strong, trusting, loving, liberated, intimate relationship with someone I really care for and who cares for me in return.
Freedom from my black or white, yes / no thinking. In relationships I have a strong tendency to want it all, or nothing at all. My ethics, morals, and mores are painfully strict and old-fashioned.
Self without cognitive dissonance, anger, insecurity, intolerance, jealousy, or fear of abandonment. A self that is enlightened, accepting of all, and understanding of all.
Truth that is not brutal, and is neither self-serving, nor hiding behind lies of omission and half-truths.
A healthy mind in a healthy body. Continually seeking to improve my physical, mental, psychological, and spiritual fitness.
Patience, acceptance, tolerance, understanding, and a willingness to compromise ~ all of which I have little if any at all.
When you want to hurry something, that means you no longer care about it and want to get on to other things. ~ Robert M. Pirsig
I do too much, give me an acorn and before you know where you are you will be up to your ass in oak trees. I fight the alligators instead of remembering that I’m supposed to be draining the swamp. My dress sense is preppy, rather than relaxed, or trendy, or fashionable. I tend to give solutions, rather than just quietly listening to the problem. My desires, emotions, and passions run very strong and very deep.
Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. This lenten season I am giving up the right to be a typical self-indulgent male, which includes dealing with some, or all, of the above ~ especially impatience.
Please Do Not Press This Button Again
with thanks to my Goddess