Disturbed Dreaming

Dreams shed light into places our waking self fears to go.

Very, very rarely I can remember a dream when I wake in the morning.  Vivid, meaningful dreams that are as long and detailed as a real-life event played out like a powerful TV drama.  The memory of these dreams does not fade, the memories of dreams like these stays with me as long and as strong as any real-life memories.

Usually these dreams are enlightening, they teach me something important, they bring clarity to an area of my life that has been mired in confusion.  Sometimes these vivid dreams are disturbing.

A couple of nights ago I dreamed of betrayal.  In this dream my friend played, seduced, and then had sex with a handsome house guest while I was sleeping.  Very strange.  I do not believe I have ever before had a dream that was even remotely like that version of sexual betrayal.  It was not the most pleasant dream I have ever had.

The dream got worse than that.  My reaction to my friend playing and then having sex with a handsome house guest was violent.  In my dream I threw her down a flight of stairs.  And, that kind of violence can kill people.

I have thought hard about what this all might mean.

One thing it means is that in my dream I tapped into a place, into thoughts and feelings, that my wakeful and conscious mind would fear to tread.  Or perhaps I wouldn’t ever go to that dark place because I didn’t even know it existed.

I think the second thing it means is that part of me must believe that my friend used to be the kind of woman who would have sex with just about anyone.  That is very hurtful and disturbing.  I am hopeful that this dream was me getting rid of those negative thoughts once and for all.

But, the most terrible thing is that, deep down in my psyche, I may have a propensity towards extreme violence.  I hope not.

I am glad my dream took me to places in my mind that I would not otherwise venture toward.  I am not glad about what I found there.

But, there is another thought.  Dreams such as the one I described may have been sent to me by a Goddess I believe in.  If that’s the case the dark Goddess Isis sent me that dream.  She is trying to teach me something.  Perhaps deep down I am attracted to sexually available and promiscuous women ~ I’m not certain that’s the case, but the thought and meanings are interesting.

It would be good if the lesson was more obvious, and less disturbing.

What I do know is that there is no end to love.

Perhaps that is the whole point.


jack collier


where ever you are

and whoever you are

I hope that your year

is ending well.



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21 responses

  1. Jack… Have you figured out the meaning of your dream yet?

    It hit me right away what it meant (as an outsider looking at its events) but I didn’t want to indicate what I thought until you’d had time to reflect on it…

    I don’t think the dream is prophetic, but it is indicative of an aspect of your relationships (especially the ones that go completely wrong and you don’t know why).

    You have a possession approach to life… You want to own happiness, perhaps that includes things like cars, cloths, watches, jewelry, I don’t know…you will. But it has extended to your relationships…you want to be with your significant other and not share her with anyone. Even though you may shower her with gifts, it can be suffocating for her. When your partner strays with a simple look at another man, or wanting to spend time alone with her friends, you feel the most profound jealousy. You covet heroes, like a thing and cannot handle it emotionally when she does not give you her full, undivided attention. You do not understand her reasoning for wanting time alone. While you would never hurt her, the dream suggests the inner rage you feel when you sense any sort of rejection.

    Feel free to ignore what I saw in the dream, but give it some thought. Is Jealousy of others holding you back? It can be an easy thing to reprogram that emotion, replacing it with appreciation, but you need to recognise that the ‘green monster’ is ruling your life before you can do that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ‘heroes’ should read ‘her.’ My phone has gone on a predictive text rampage.😆


  2. er, make that “when you are faced with the conflict between fear and anger (read understandable rage) in the face of betrayal.”

    (clicked “send” too soon.). 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your friend or partner sleeping with someone else might be very upsetting ~ that kind of thing could tear me to pieces, but I hope that I would react with dignity and not enough rage to throw someone downstairs. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. As a person who’s been thrown down a flight of stairs in my past, I appreciate you. ♥️

        No sympathy or pity, please. Just totally relating to this post on a very visceral level and appreciating your perspective. It’s nice. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Jeez. Mine was a dream, and it was disturbing. To be violent with a woman, to throw a woman I cared for down a flight of stairs, that would never, ever happen.
        Thank you so much for your comments and your open honesty.
        ❤ ❤ ❤


  3. As vivid as your dream was, your description helped me to actually feel the betrayal, Jack. And it makes perfect sense that you would question not only the dream, but your “part” in that dream (i.e. the violent reaction).

    I believe your subconscious was just showing you what it is you would be afraid of (NOT what you are capable of) when you are faced with the conflict between fear and anger. I think it’s amazing that you were able to come away with such clear details. It’s very insightful and brave to be able to face yourself this way.

    Thanks so much for sharing and trusting us with this vulnerable side of you. ♥️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It seems that I have become a very honest and open guy, unafraid to share, and unafraid to show my vulnerable side. It’s a dream that has a confusing message for me, a dichotomy of trust, love, betrayal, violence and remorse. It’s complicated, but I want to make it simple. I want to be able to face the things I was once afraid of, and to always act with supportive acceptance and understanding.
      Violence against a woman is never acceptable in my eyes.
      Thank you so much for your very caring comment. I am happy to know you through my blog.
      ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I can see how jarring it was for you. 🙂 And there is nothing that would ever indicate that you believe that violence against women would ever be acceptable. I think people who believe in violence against people would never have this sort of insight.

        I’m happy to be getting to know you better, too, mister. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you.
        I’m happy to be getting to know me better too.
        And I’m very happy to get to know you too.
        ❤ ❤ ❤


  4. The responses are as fascinating as the horror of the dream! Fun fun fun. (Ok, not the dream. Those kind are NOT fun.)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Kris,
      There have been some interesting, and insightful comments, and it’s a lot of fun for me to get them.
      The dream, maybe that wasn’t so much fun, but I think it was important and I’m glad that it was given to me.
      And, thank you for your comment.
      ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always, dear. Always.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Jack, quite the dream! I want to share something I learned studying dreamwork with the author and expert Jeremy Taylor, who says “It is my assumption that all dreams come in the service of health and wholeness and that only the dreamer knows for certain what his/her dream means.” So…the thing is, his theory is that nightmares are the subconscious tugging at one’s sleeve – that it’s been trying to get your attention about something, to no avail, thus the nightmare. So, think about that, and that the dream may be symbolic – that the woman and other figures may represent something else entirely. Also…think about whether there was any wordplay in the dream, as unlikely as that may seem on the surface of it. Here’s an example: when I was in graduate school, I kept having dreams about trains. I wondered why but had all kinds of ideas. Then one day I thought “Aha! ‘Training!'” I was indeed in an intensive training program. Good luck interpreting – it will come to you in time and you’ll know when it does.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. It was an incredibly vivid dream, and I just KNOW it was meaningful and trying to tell me something. I also know that what the dream was trying to tell me is almost at the front of my mind. I know the dream’s message is there, I just can’t quite access it right now.
      Part of me thinks it might be some simple and obvious lessons, like; violence against women is never acceptable. Or; it’s not the end of the world if your girl has sex with another guy. Or; I suddenly find promiscuity acceptable and exciting. Or; everybody lies and I can’t trust anyone.
      I have been changing and developing so quickly in the past week that the meanings of the dream could be some or all of those obvious things.
      However, I firmly believe the meaning of the dream is more complex than a simple message about sex and violence. I firmly believe the meaning of that dream will only be revealed to me over time, and when the time is right. When I know, I’ll write a blog post about it.
      Thank you for your caring and insightful comment.
      ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Jack, your dream is an interesting one showing an inner battle of your desires. You outwardly wouldn’t want to be associated with their, list, hate, violent indications, yet they are plainly in your psyche. Actual imagery is not so important as the underlying feeling. That your dream frightened you, shows that you want to confront your demons. That is a very positive stage in repairing your soul. It takes great courage to bring about reform, but you are on the rungs of the ladder to greater sensibility and enlightenment.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. PS, ‘list’ should read ‘lust.’ Predictive text strikes again, but a ‘list’ is what you must make of all the traits you want to change. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Colette, using the wonderful Dreambook and Planner a friend sent to me, I am making a list of the character defects I want to change ~ and checking it twice.
        ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you Colette. I believe that everyone has a dark side, and that my very disturbing dream was my dark side coming to the surface. My hope is that confronting my demons means that I am letting go of the worst of my darker side of lust, hate, and violence.
      ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I believe that you must be opening your mind to an existence that previously you might have thought belonged in woo, woo land.
        Eventually, anyone who has to confront their demons or is experiencing life traumas gets here eventually.
        Where is here? It is the consciousness of all things and you are finally learning to tap into it.

        You might find this discussion of great help Jack. Keep an open mind…the end of the interview is profound.

        And do look at some of the other subjects covered in the ‘New Thinking Allowed’ YouTube channel. They will help you to organise your thoughts.

        Hugs for a speedy recovery into a world of enlightened caring.❤😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you Colette, you have a caring soul and a beautiful spirit.
        I have long given lip service to a belief in the interconnectedness of all things, but now I really do believe it, and I believe that I can learn to tap into it.
        I seem to have reached a turning point and I am thinking in a new way.
        And do you know what? You are a great help to me. I will watch that discussion.
        ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤


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