Dreams shed light into places our waking self fears to go.
Very, very rarely I can remember a dream when I wake in the morning. Vivid, meaningful dreams that are as long and detailed as a real-life event played out like a powerful TV drama. The memory of these dreams does not fade, the memories of dreams like these stays with me as long and as strong as any real-life memories.
Usually these dreams are enlightening, they teach me something important, they bring clarity to an area of my life that has been mired in confusion. Sometimes these vivid dreams are disturbing.
A couple of nights ago I dreamed of betrayal. In this dream my friend played, seduced, and then had sex with a handsome house guest while I was sleeping. Very strange. I do not believe I have ever before had a dream that was even remotely like that version of sexual betrayal. It was not the most pleasant dream I have ever had.
The dream got worse than that. My reaction to my friend playing and then having sex with a handsome house guest was violent. In my dream I threw her down a flight of stairs. And, that kind of violence can kill people.
I have thought hard about what this all might mean.
One thing it means is that in my dream I tapped into a place, into thoughts and feelings, that my wakeful and conscious mind would fear to tread. Or perhaps I wouldn’t ever go to that dark place because I didn’t even know it existed.
I think the second thing it means is that part of me must believe that my friend used to be the kind of woman who would have sex with just about anyone. That is very hurtful and disturbing. I am hopeful that this dream was me getting rid of those negative thoughts once and for all.
But, the most terrible thing is that, deep down in my psyche, I may have a propensity towards extreme violence. I hope not.
I am glad my dream took me to places in my mind that I would not otherwise venture toward. I am not glad about what I found there.
But, there is another thought. Dreams such as the one I described may have been sent to me by a Goddess I believe in. If that’s the case the dark Goddess Isis sent me that dream. She is trying to teach me something. Perhaps deep down I am attracted to sexually available and promiscuous women ~ I’m not certain that’s the case, but the thought and meanings are interesting.
It would be good if the lesson was more obvious, and less disturbing.
What I do know is that there is no end to love.
Perhaps that is the whole point.
where ever you are
and whoever you are
I hope that your year
is ending well.
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