What do women really want?

Women don’t like mind games.  Most women like romance.

I’m just a guy, you know?  Ergo I don’t actually understand the woman I care for, and sometimes I don’t really know what she wants from me.  However, in an effort to be a ‘better’ guy I’ve been exploring the internet, and I believe these are the behaviours a woman would like me to bring to a relationship.

You know what?  I worked out #1 all by my self.

  1. Do not be a jerk.  (From time to time I have been a 21 carat jerk.)
  2. Give her respect.  Respect her opinions, career, interests, friends, family, needs, dreams, and desires.  Respect her body, her mind, and her soul.  Accept and understand who and what she truly is.
  3. Give her time and space.  She’s an independent lady, so don’t be clingy and dependent.  She is not responsible for your happiness, you are.  Don’t pressure her into doing things she’s not ready for.  But, when she needs you, be generous with your own time; always be there for her.
  4. Be confident and capable ~ take charge when you need to.  She needs to know that you can always be relied on to take the lead when necessary.
  5. Always help her to feel safe.  Don’t ever be threatening, and if she’s worried about someone or something, or scared of something or someone ~ then help her to deal with it!
  6. Respect her privacy.  Don’t ever intrude where she wants to be private, and never, ever, comment on what she posts on social media.
  7. Follow through with your plans and ideas.  Women like to know that if a guy says he is going to do something, he will actually do it.
  8. Be completely honest, unless complete honesty is hurtful.  Women don’t like liars, and once you have lost a woman’s trust it’s hard to get it back again.
  9. When it’s appropriate be romantic.  And, what is truly romantic changes from time to time, and from woman to woman.  To be romantic; You need to get to know her.
  10. Be polite, well-mannered, and well-spoken.  Very good manners take a little effort ~ but I’m lucky here, I’m a true English Gentleman, and good manners come naturally to me.  And never, ever get drunk when she’s around.
  11. Self-deprecating humour.  Don’t make jokes at her expense, but it’s OK to poke fun at yourself.  She will probably like gentle humour, and dislike you trying to be funny by being vicious and nasty about other people.
  12. If she ever feels the need to apologise, accept her apology with grace.  Especially never, ever, mention the things she’s apologised for ever again.
  13. A Man should never be late.  She may have no sense of time, she may always be late for everything, but you should always be there on time~ always.  If you’ve promised to call at eight o’clock, then you should call her at exactly eight.
  14. Be consistent, reliable, and trustworthy.  Women don’t seem to appreciate unreliability, a good guy needs to be the same good guy every minute of every day.
  15. Listen to her.  When she wants to talk, listen patiently with acceptance and understanding.  Don’t give her solutions she hasn’t asked for, just listen to her.
  16. Respond to her texts and emails in a timely manner.  She may take forever to reply to you, but if you get a message from her, then respond as soon as is humanly possible.
  17. Always be clean, tidy, and well-groomed.  You and your place should always be pretty immaculate, especially the bathroom.  And, if you are ever invited to her place, treat it with the utmost respect.  Clean your shoes, get a manicure, get a haircut, have some great pictures in your place….
  18. Be faithful in word and deed.  Don’t screw around, don’t date other women, don’t constantly flirt with other women, don’t check out other women, don’t ‘like’ other women’s pictures on social media, and do not constantly jerk off to porn.
  19. Be complementary.  Tell her she looks pretty, her hair’s nice, tell her you like her. and if it’s appropriate tell her that you love her.
  20. Do things just for her.  Clean her car, make sure she’s always got petrol, (gas), in the tank, fix things for her, send her flowers and perfume, but bear in mind point #9, and be romantic in the right way and when it’s appropriate.
  21. Sex.  Do not try too go to far and too fast.  If anything, follow her lead, and remember point #10 , and always be polite and well-mannered.  And, if and when you sleep with her, remember that her pleasure is important.  You may need sex, but perhaps what she really wants is love.

Writing this stuff, it all makes perfect sense, and I don’t believe I’ve got anything badly wrong in this list.  But, Ladies, if I have, then please feel free to tell me about it.

And, writing this stuff I realise that I do most of these good things most of the time, and some of them all of the time.  Sadly, that isn’t good enough.  Point #14 behoves me to be consistent, reliable, and trustworthy ~ I need to do all of the above all of the time.

That’s a tall order, but if she is worth it, and you really care, then she’s worth all of it all of the time.

In future, I shall make every effort to follow my advice from this list.  I am going to do this stuff.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

pictures by Jack Vettriano

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40 responses

  1. Great list and thank you for sharing. Thank you for following BrewNSpew.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. […] via What do women really want? — JackCollier7 […]

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  3. One who (cheerfully) goes through the List of To Dos. =)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And always takes out the trash…. ❤

      Like

  4. these are all super and of course on point… but to be all of those all the time is a bit too much perfect too much of the time.. You may leave your lady with out any room to misstep herself.. We don’t want perfect all of the time we want genuine all of the time and of course respect and sweet admiration and love haha.. but you can do all of that without being absolutely perfect. with that being said they are all charming and all lovely points!! ❤️❤️
    so hopefully any jerky men that are out there which thank goodness i haven’t met many, read your blog and learn something from you 😉 Its a great read and fun to talk about!!! 💋-kitten

    Liked by 3 people

    1. To be brutally honest ~ we’re talking about a guy doing all these things, all of the time, and we both know that’s never going to happen. Even the very best man will get it wrong some of the time ~ men will always be imperfect.
      Yet, these points are something for a guy to aspire to. We can try to be your perfect partner, but we will always have a streak of boyish imperfection ready to surprise you when you least expect it.
      Thank you for your kind comments, glad you liked. ❤ ❤ ❤ 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I loved it! And i love those imperfections in men and thats so endearing and quite honestly very attractive.. whether we always will admit that is a whole other story😉.. you are always a great read! Thank you!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  5. You give me hope, Jack. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kate. I try. ❤ 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This is a great list, Jack. You have done well in not only your research but in being able to communicate what you have learned. I would add one thing to the list, “communication”. Though a couple of the other items subtly implied this, I think it is important enough to justify a spot all its own. A man needs to be able to communicate, not just listen to her needs but to be able to communicate his own needs. Also be able to communicate well on things that might hurt while being sensitive to her feelings. Communicate honestly, respectfully and with compassion. I would love it if you wrote another article on what men really want. I’m afraid my thoughts on that have probably become quite jaded due to all too many #1’s in my life. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Agreeing with this thought, completely.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. communication is the hardest thing in the world.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I agree, Kris. It doesn’t matter how much I want to say something, there are times when it feels like there is a brick wall blocking the way. It takes powerful strength to get through it.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. I’m on the other side too much!

        Liked by 2 people

    2. We both know men are not the best at talking about sensitive issues such as ‘feelings’, and our own needs, wants, and desires. For a man to truly communicate with a woman he must care for her very deeply, have a bond of real friendship with her, (and not just feel lust), and he must really work at it in a careful and sensitive manner. Most men are about as sensitive as a thrown brick.
      Talking with a woman is a skill lacking in the majority of guys ~ generally because they just can’t be bothered.
      I will write a piece on what men really want ~ other than sex.
      Thank you for your insightful comments. ❤ ❤ ❤ 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Love this so much, Jack. Thanks for your honesty in your reply. It is refreshing. ❤ ❤ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  7. atta boy Jack, most excellent list….too many to list here as favorites but I think if two people know who they are within and love themselves, they will love each other that much more ❤ and listening, not trying to "fix" everything, etc…..smile and be happy, have fun, girls like guys who aren't afraid to dance in public to a tune on the overhead system "just because" silliness is good 🙂 okay….I'm done….I think?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t think dancing in public is quite going to make it onto my list.
      Otherwise you are right alongside me. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Very well written 👏

    Liked by 1 person

  9. “Great Tips.”

    From my point of view, a mature woman wants to be respected, understood, protected, romanced and appreciated. A mature woman needs a mature man that is all grown up, well established and confident in knowing who is.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. And, a mature woman needs a man who doesn’t sometimes act like a jerk ~ for no real reason. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I want to be me and the man to accept it – no games , no temper tandrumn or blaiming ( both ways of course!) xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your guy should give you the space and support to be the real you, and he should accept and understand you. ❤

      Like

  11. Wow! You nailed it Jack and if you do meet all the points…you are really a living walking saintly man. As a woman, I would treasure you. I am sure all woman would😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, that’s made me smile. ❤ 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I was so thinking this same thing!!!!!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Saintly I’m not, but I’m working on being a great guy. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I don’t like saints…… I’m no angel, why would I want a saint?

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I think you nailed it but don’t overthink it. It doesn’t have to perfect all the time. We are human a d a good heart will always shine through. And that you have my dear friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your very kind words. I think I’ll settle for mostly perfect almost all the time. That’s apart from point #1 ‘Do not be a jerk….’ I have to stop being a jerk forever and always. ❤ ❤ 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, jerks don’t rule at all 😉 hugs ❤️🦋

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Great tips but I think it’s a little too late for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s never too late my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. If you can do all of this, you are amazing. You are allowed to not be perfect. Like you can be late and swear occasionally, etc. etc. Some of your rules though are sacrosanct, and I commend you for bothering to figure them out.. If you do all this a woman will know you really love her and she will know she is extremely lucky.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I need to be utterly perfect when it comes to point #1 ‘Do not be a jerk…’
      And just sometimes, a woman might like it if I say ‘Fuck’ at the appropriate time….
      🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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