demons I can’t face down

Our very souls may be consumed by shadows.

We each have a complex relationship with ourselves.  If we have ever really suffered through something like; alcoholism, drug addiction, addiction to gambling, sex addiction, too many of the wrong prescription drugs, parental abuse, an abusive relationship, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, serious problems with our diet, mental health problems, failed relationships, job loss, loss of our home…  (or more likely a mixture of all of these problems and more), then we also have a complex relationship with the whole world and everyone in it.

At times we can find ourselves in a very bad place where every voice is critical, malevolent, and negative ~ even our own inner voice.  Our inner voice creates inner demons;  anger, depression, fear of rejection, rejection of others, jealousy, judgementalism, self-doubt, self-hatred, worthlessness…

All the dark, malevolent Passions of the Soul are roused and exerted; its mild and amiable affections are suppressed; and with them virtuous Principles are laid prostrate.  ~  Charles Inglis

Unless you have been there you can have no idea how bad the pain and anguish these inner demons can create.  One will do almost anything to escape the crippling pain; including going back to our addictions, making big geographical moves, shutting down and numbing ourselves, isolating ourselves, psychotherapy, strong prescription drugs, attending 12 step groups, spirituality, retreating further into mental illness, suicide…

It is not just our inner demons.  If we are in that bad place then we are also surrounded by demons.  Everyone we know, everyone we meet, adds to these outer demons with their misplaced concerned advice, criticisms, and rejection.  Many people do not want us to get well, they measure themselves against our struggle and feel superior, they add their negative demons to our own.  When I was at my last rock-bottom I became aware that almost everyone I knew, everyone I met, was feeding off my pain.  Few understand, few want to understand, and fewer still truly want to help.

Some especially gifted, intelligent, and sensitive people believe that there is a third layer of demons, in addition to our inner demons, and the tormenting demons gifted to us by almost everyone we know.   Most spiritual and religious people also believe that there are more demons than the physiological and psychological.  These special people believe in genuine demons, in the spiritual realm, and that some of us may be victims of these demons.  In my mind’s eye I am very aware that in the shadows surrounding my soul lurk the powers of darkness seeking to torment and torture me.

Demons manifest themselves in people in different ways.  For instance, out of nowhere, somebody can become very angry for no reason.  That’s not just an emotion.  That’s a demon.  ~  Stephen Baldwin.

None of the details really matter.  What I do know is that if you have truly suffered, and if you are suffering now, then you are the victim of demons who will feed off your pain, and want nothing more than to destroy you and everything and everyone you care for.

It is our demons that make us believe that our partner is sleeping with other men, that giving into our addiction will solve our problems, and that suicide is painless.

Many of us have tried over the years to face down our inner demons.  Some succeed, many fail.  Many fail because they don’t realise that the main causes of their misery are inner demons which seem to have an intelligence and will of their own.  Many more fail because they never realise that they are also surrounded by malevolent evil demons emanating  from the subconscious psyche of everyone they know.  And, some fail because they are the victims of true demonic possession.

Demons are not your superiors, demons are not even your equals.  All demons have is the ability to make you cause yourself pain and suffering.  Demons can only torment and torture you if you let them, but most of us allow demons to torture us because we are not even aware that they are there.

Negative thinking patterns can be immensely deceptive and persuasive, and change is rarely easy.  ~  David D. Burns.

Recovery begins with admitting that you have a problem.

I cannot yet face down my demons, but I know they are there, trying to make me torture myself so that they can feed off my pain. (Even your inner demons feed off the pain you cause yourself.)

Now, when I feel myself going down a negative path to my own personal hell, I can tell myself that it’s just my personal demons trying to destroy me, and that I should ignore their oppressive persecution.  That helps me.  A psychological bully can only bully you if you let them.  Your demons have no physical power over you.  Ignore them and your demons will go away.  Eventually I shall be able to face down my demons and tell them to fuck off ~ and that will be a good day.

Demons are to be pitied.  They have nothing but your pain and suffering.  If you do not allow your demons to make you cause yourself pain and suffering, then those demons will eventually die and vanish into nothing.

You can and will get well if you do not allow your demons to torment and torture you.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

click on the book

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12 responses

  1. How interesting…I appear to have written ‘unsseeme’ instead of ‘uneasy’ in the text above. Perhaps a more accurate thing to say, is that when one is possessed by a ‘demon,’ one is not seen by others…they see you physically, but witness the behaviour of your demon!

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    1. that is so true ~ our negative, dangerous, lascivious behaviour is not the true you and me, it’s the demons driving us. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Buddhist monks do not drink alcohol partly because of this phenomenon. They also do not consume raw garlic because it raises anger, nor cooked garlic which raises desires.
        I find it also interesting that garlic traditionally chases away vampires…perhaps because other entities that do like garlic, are formidable foes.

        While this all sounds fantastical to most people, I think they would change their mind if they were on the receiving end of something bad.
        I am beginning to think the world’s politicians and leaders have all succumbed to ‘possession’ by demons. Certainly there is evidence accruing that we are all on the road to ‘Perdition.’

        Liked by 1 person

      2. And regarding my lascivious behaviour that night…my husband says that I was amazingly insatiable! Pity he enjoyed it so much…it wasn’t me. 😈😄

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      3. But I do occasionally have my moments…and they are me!😇😄

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    2. It’s a shame you can’t call up the demon of insatiable lascivious behaviour just when you need it, and banish it to perdition when it’s no longer required.
      Sounds cool to me. ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Actually, I have a story about a real possession that took place during a really heavy drinking session at a rented holiday cottage. While I did not remember much that night, my husband video taped my lascivious behaviour. It is something that I cannot watch.
    I literally felt an entity enter inside me…it was frightening to me (entertaining to my husband) as I battled with the thing. It is the only episode in my life when I felt totally vulnerable…my voice changed tone as I and the entity said different and opposing things. My husband said that I kept telling him that I had something very important to say, that life wasn’t what we thought it was, that he needed to know that ‘others’ were in control. He laughed as I struggled with what I can only describe as a malevolent thing consuming what was left of my coherence.
    That night, ten years ago now, was the last time I got blind drunk and in fact I rarely have more than a couple of drinks at any given time now!
    What happened to the ‘demon,’ I hear you ask?
    That is a weird story – and took place 6 months later and while I feel rather bad about it, having the demon leave me that night was a liberation that I am grateful to have.
    I struggled for the six months with depressed thoughts, bad thoughts, fits of temper and general I’ll health. I had begun changing my diet and doing positive stuff to fight this drag on my life.
    A friend had brought his new girlfriend to see us and spend a few days holiday with us on our boat.
    The girlfriend was a heavy vodka drinker and it wasn’t long before she was slurring. We all retired that night to our beds and I was aware that I felt unsseeme but wasn’t aware why. Then I felt that same malevolent thing…it suddenly seemed that it was going out of me…and I felt quite euphoric really. But moments later, the girlfriend was shouting in the other cabin…she used a great deal of profanity for about 10 minutes and then silence.
    Our friend had been frightened by his girlfriend’s middle of the night outburst. She was seemingly asleep, but at the same time staring wide eyed.
    Our friend split up with her, she (he said) plummeted onto alcoholic behaviour and destructive behaviour. He moved on.

    I really think these ‘demons’ are hanging around to feed off negativity, and destruction of the human spirit. Like parasites, they skip through the population creating havoc. Best defence is to be healthy physically, and emotionally and mentally positive. They do indeed wither and die then.

    Enjoyed reading your post Jack! Demons are more ‘real’ than most people realise!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lascivious behaviour sounds fun, but not if you were being controlled by a malevolent demon. Booze has a lot to answer for. I firmly believe that when we are buzzed, blasted, tipsy, pissed, blind drunk… it gives the demons an easy opportunity to enter our soul / deepest subconscious mind. Once in, it’s hard to chase them out.
      It’s spooky that your demon found someone even more vulnerable to torment and torture, and it’s sad that she did go down The Road to Hell. On the other hand I guess you were lucky that your demon left you for ‘greener pastures’.
      Demons are negative, destructive, vampiric, tormenting torturers who want our ultimate destruction and pain and suffering for those around us.
      I still have my demons, but now I know that they are there, trying to destroy me, their power over me has diminished.
      Thank you ever so for all your cool comments.
      ❤ ❤ ❤ 😉

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  3. Sending love and light your way my friend ❤ you will rise above it and soar ❤

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  4. Keep fighting your battle to keep your demons at bay. Unfortunately, that fight will never be won, but it can most definitely be lost. The victory will come with the fighting to be a better you. Be strong my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words. You are a good friend to me. ❤

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