A lot of people seem to see only what they want to see a lot of the time. Even people who should know better; sports referees, scientists, leaders of big businesses, religious leaders, politicians.., have a selective blindness when it comes to clearly seeing things they would prefer to ignore. Are people really blind to the facts so often, or are most people routinely deceiving themselves?
From my own experience, I can tell you that lying to yourself, self-deception, seeing things through rose-tinted spectacles, is the easiest lie of all. I spent most of my life believing that my own lies to myself were true.
Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who routinely lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
But, not seeing the truth of one’s own situation means that one’s life is built on a foundation of sand.
I can see more clearly now. Now my eyes are wide open and not clouded by self-deceptions. To truly live a good life, to try do what is right more often than doing what is easy, to really care about others, we must first of all know who we are. I discovered that I could not love the man I saw in the mirror, I could not live as a hollow man, I could not go through the rest of my life as a shadow. I had to know myself. And to know myself, first of all I had to fully accept the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You know what? Sometimes accepting the truth is unbelievably painful.
Many people say that today’s social relationships are superficial. Perhaps that is because so few of us are open and honest with one another. How many will tell their loved ones ‘little white lies’ on the grounds that telling the whole truth would be hurtful? That may be socially acceptable, and it may arise from the seemingly good reason that the truth is going to big create problems, but ‘little white lies’ are still lies.
In the last few weeks I have come to believe that most lies are the result of fear. We tell ‘little white lies’ because we fear the consequences of telling the truth to our loved ones. We refuse to see what is right in front of us because we are afraid of what that means. It may be that I believed my own lies to myself because I was afraid to accept the pain of the real truths about who I
am used to be.
Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears. ~ Rudyard Kipling.
The first of the four Noble Truths is that Life is Suffering. Or, if you like; Life is Difficult and Painful. For some reason I have been able to accept that First Noble Truth, and now I can accept who I am, and now I can search for my own ultimate truth. With acceptance of myself I can now accept, understand, and begin to love others.
Many speak of love. I firmly believe there can be no love without truth.
Honest humility says that I am not a better man than any other. But, today I may be a far better man than I used to be.
these opinions are mine and mine alone.