Never Reinforce Failure

Know when to walk away ~ Know when to run

Governments, Politicians, Generals, Admirals, Businessmen, Gamblers, Alcoholics, Husbands, Wives, Lovers, Mistresses, Children, Employees, all have something in common.  Time and time again they will go on pouring lives, money, love, health, sanity, and self-respect into deals, situations, and dysfunctional relationships they should have just turned their backs on and walked away.

It’s as though somewhere deep in the human psyche there is a pathological need to keep doing the same old thing, over and over again, no matter how many times it has failed before.  Well we’ve probably all had this proverb hammered into our brains as children.

If at first you don’t succeed ~ try, try, try again.  ~  Robert the Bruce.

tormentActually, it’s much, much worse than you would ever believe.  Relatively respectable psychologists believe that the misinformation effect makes some people completely forget their failures, and just how bad they were.  This is glaringly obvious in gamblers, who never talk about how much they’ve lost, only how much they’ve won.  It’s even worse in abusive relationships, where victims totally block out the memories of the abuse, even to extent of selective amnesia and dissociative disorders.

Smarter, more self-aware, more self-confident people eventually realise that throwing good money after bad, or loving the wrong person at the wrong time, or trying the same thing over end over again, is fundamentally stupid.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  Then quit.  There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.  ~  W.C. Fields.

In the past I have been as guilty as anyone of raising the stakes on a losing card, and then when I inevitably lost, raising the stakes once again.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.  ~  Ablert Einstein.

Eventually, smarter people learn that no matter how hard you try, if they don’t love you for yourself alone, they will never love you for the things you try to do for them.  Women and girls especially stay in abusive relationships far longer than they should ~ gaslighting is so insidious.

There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.  ~  Shannon L. Adler.

Today I will go a long way before I ever again try harder to win when winning was always impossible.  I know how to recognise and when to get out of a dysfunctional relationship.  I have a new Rule #1 in my book.

Rule #1 Always know when and how to get out of Dodge.



5 responses

  1. […] between not trying again, and trying something different.  There are two mantras to remember here; never reinforce failure, or if you like don’t throw good money after bad…..  And, as Einstein is supposed to […]


  2. when you are sure , you try again..till you really fail . Now, the question is what are you sure about 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m certain there is more strangeness in Heaven and Earth than are dreamed about in my philosophy.


  3. Thanks for this post. You just reminded me of why I do need to exit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for you comment. I hope everything works out well for you.

      Liked by 1 person

Please Leave a Reply or Ask Me Anything you like.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: