personal energy that attracts



Positive, Assertive, Calm, Determined, Energetic, Generous, Kind, Optimistic..

In the past it’s always been very easy for me to focus on the negative aspects of my personality.  I have suffered from extreme insecurity, jealousy, pessimism, selfishness, and immaturity.  I’ve been judgmental, aggressive, demanding, bossy, and egotistical.  Do you know something?  Being a complete jerk is hard work, no wonder I also got tired and petulant at times.  But, that’s a Borderline Personality Disorder for you.

Instead of all that negative energy, why don’t I focus on developing my positive character traits? Positive character traits exude an energy which is attractive to others.  I’ve been told that I can be charming, funny, kind, considerate, and assertive without being domineering.  Some say I’m also intelligent and interesting, challenging but generous, attentive and romantic.  And, that it’s obvious I’m an experienced, dominant, been there, done that, don’t mess with me kind of a guy.  All I know is that I still have enough of a sense of fun to take pictures of my teddy bear.

The psychological people have told me that positive character traits can be developed and enhanced by making a conscious effort to change, but that it’s really only possible for a man to work on one thing at a time.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.  ~  Carl Rogers.

Given that sometimes I’m too smart for my own good, I’m going to work on something difficult ~ Congruence.  This means being true to me, open, genuine, honest, acting with confident integrity…

This also demands that I have to study what being congruent really means and behave in that way.

The only person who is educated is one who has learned how to learn – and change.  ~  Carl Rogers.

As I have asked in prayer; ‘Please teach me how to learn.’



14 responses

  1. How can you work on being affable when you’re alone? Surely you work on the most appropriate character trait for the immediate circumstance.


  2. Congruence — what a great idea. I truly believe you can’t be honest or open or vulnerable with anyone else unless you can first be truthful with yourself. Keep trying; you sound like you’re doing good! Hope all is well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Chris. Being honest and open with myself ~ it isn’t as easy as I would have liked, but I’m getting there. (Slowly)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I just love your bear pictures. That one with the hammer – made me squeal with it’s cuteness. Are you a Calvin and Hobbes ( Bill Watterson) fan? Marmaduke probably is. The whole portfolio of his work would definitely lend itself to learning how to learn in the most fantastically childlike but wise way. Your progression on what you’re tackling is inspiring. If I was your Mom, I’d dare to say I was proud of you. As a human with my own issues, I’m proud to be human and I’m also inspired by what you’re doing to keep working when I stumble.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you sweetheart, (if you were my Mom I couldn’t call you sweetheart). Marmaduke and I are just about to check out Calvin and Hobbes.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey Jack! Couldn’t find a reply box on your Who Am I? page so will leave a comment here. No. It certainly does NOT sound easy. And the hardest part of it, in my opinion, is being able to forgive ourselves. If we can’t get there, it seems like everything else crumbles. Thanks so much for the follow. I’ll be back around to check on you. Hope you’re having a great day. LOVE the bear pictures. I have a Pack Rat named Percy. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for checking my words out too. Self-forgiveness has been so difficult for me, but maybe I’m getting there. Percy is a great name for a Pack Rat. My bear is Marmaduke.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Marmaduke. Great name. 😀 Good luck to you and Marmaduke!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. With or without scientific diagnosis, we are fairly complex. Most of us do not remain children, and those who do, remind us of what we lost when we took on layer after protective layer in our greater and greater world: vulnerability that trusts that love is there and life is good, an energized joy, and endless hope, including in ourselves. Most of us never lose the need to love and be loved, though, and that’s the best part of us. Thankfully, both God and others can see it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words. As always you speak with insight and truth.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If so, that’s one benefit of being old as the hills. You speak with insight and truth, too, but I hope it’s not from ancientness!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Your best effort is what matters. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true! Thank you sweetheart. xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Anytime. All the best for Wednesday. xo

        Liked by 1 person

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