Letter to Myself ~ aged four and threequarters


My inner child,

It was not your fault that you were taken from your mother and put in an incubator, just after you were born.  You were not well when you were a newborn, and they had to put you in an incubator to keep you alive.

I know you loved your nanna, and that she loved you too.  It was not your fault that she went away and left you .  She was an old lady, and she just died.

It was not your fault that she died.  It was not your fault that your parents did not explain that nanna had died.  It was not your fault that nobody told you why she had to go away and leave you all alone.

Your parents did not know how to show you their love for you, and that was not your fault either.

I know you felt abandoned and unloved when you were a very young boy, but you were not to blame.

Please let yourself grieve for your nanna, and let her go to heaven to be in peace with the angels.  Please forgive your nanna for dying and leaving you.  Please accept that she loved you, but now she has gone.

Please forgive yourself, the blame was not yours to take.

Forgive yourself, and live in peace, happiness, and serenity from now on.

All my love,

your older self.




8 responses

  1. Let her stay with you in peace..as a loving heart and caring soul
    Remember her..miss her too..let the tear drop it is good for you
    Let her be a source of pride..a feeling of togetherness that seems to be right

    Liked by 1 person

  2. […] of abandonment ~ go back in time and put things right.  Perhaps read another of my recent posts Letter to Myself ~ aged four and threequarters.  I never believed this kind of self-help magic worked, in fact I was a complete sceptic ~ but now […]


  3. My little girl wants to sit too close to your little boy and nudge him in the ribs with a grin. You can share my ice-cream and talk in whispers behind blankets that build a fortress under the dining chairs.

    I’m hugging your heart. Going back and healing those old and deepest of wounds is so hard, and so necessary. I wish you godspeed though the tears and a soft peaceful landing on the other side.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your kind words have helped to dry the tears.


  4. So sad, but so strong that you could look back now and work to absolve yourself and understand. Many hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words.


  5. My heart hugs yours. Both your little boy heart and your grown up man heart. Peace to you, dear sir.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I wept before, during, and after I wrote to my younger self. I am still crying. I pray the tears are a release of that poor little boy’s pain.

      Liked by 1 person

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