Male Moods Do Not Exist

ManlymanI am a man.  I do not have moods.  Especially I do not become introspective, gloomy and depressed, neither am I ever deliriously happy.

Any outward appearance of sadness in a man is merely a reflection of some minor practical problem.  Or, it may just be that the weather is bad for the time of year.  Any appearance of happiness in a real man is the booze talking.

Real Men do not fall deeply and hopelessly in love, and real men do not discuss their feelings, with anyone, ever.  In fact a really Real Man does not have feelings to mention.  Men cannot fall in love.

p004The stereotypical male never cries, never grieves, and walks away from sadness as though it never existed.  A man does not apologise, it’s a sign of weakness.  A real man never shows pain, fear, doubt, uncertainty, or hesitancy.  Real men show courage, certainty, stoicism.

A Man puts 60 minutes into the hour and 24 hours into the day, plays the cards as they fall and the ball as it comes onto the bat.  A blinding light and the line that broke are all part of the game for a real man.  Failure, loss and disaster are met with the same calm face as are triumph and success.

A man puts women and children first, and will stand fast to the Brkenhead Drill.

A real man can design, build and repair anything, and will never complain about the almost impossible problems he has to overcome.  Real men go out into the teeming rain in the middle of the night to look for her lost cat he doesn’t much like anyhow.  Real men cook, clean, do the laundry, fix her car, decorate the home, and do the heavy work in the garden.

A real man gets drunk from time to time, but never ignores his date in favour of his male pals, and never criticises her in public, even when she’s being a slut.  Real men think sports are to be played, not watched on TV.

A Renaissance Man is literate, numerate, artistic, knowlegeable, practical, sensual, sophisticated, caring and understanding.  He comprehends humility, serenity and spirituality.  He knows how to listen when a woman needs to talk.  A Renaissance man is always clean and well-dressed, couteous and polite, and thinks first-date sex is for whores.  A Renaissance man treats a whore like a lady.

man-walking-down-trackReal men put the town first.  Real men don’t gamble, but if he shakes on a bet, then he will always pay his debts.  Real men do not borrow money, tools, books, women…  A man does not cheat on his woman.  If she cheats he will not get annoyed, he will only walk away forever, and not once look back.

Real men do not feel anger, dislike, contempt, or disdain for moronic idiots.  Real Men just don’t give a fuck.  An Alpha Male will say that he doesn’t give a fuck.

A man has a Goddess.

A man is a hopless ideal contradiction.  Only a real woman can know that and understand.

I may know one real woman.

~

Bogey-bacall-key-largojack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

English Gentleman, moine guerrier

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3 responses

  1. Great blog . One day I was wondering if you might consider putting some of your blogs in book ? let world enjoy them

    Like

  2. I think a man is as you say…a hopeless contradiction like a nutty candy with a sweet caramel chewy center. : )

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’d still argue that men have many moods though they are in denial. Also, I think there’s one mood not to be denied, which is horny, lol. Great post with some very noble traits. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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