The Line Of Beauty

It’s a hard lesson, but any man who wants to get beyond hitting rocks together has to feel and understand something about aesthetics.  The appreciation of beauty is a branch of philosophy, and most manly men would just as soon stick their fingers down their throat as consider viewpoint, wisdom, reasoning, metaphysics, and sensuality.  If I am honest I would say that a real man is mostly too busy draining the swamp to worry about the fundamental nature of the existence of alligators.  Most practical men, men with their feet solidly on the ground, are very comfortable with Aristotle and Newtonian Physics, but think  that string theory is stretching infinity a bit far.  E=MC2 may be understandable.  Gluons and the Theory of Everything is stretching it a bit far.  Accept that stuff and it’s as though we not only know that the Gods exist, we have the internal directory for Mount Olympus.

Asked about Great Art and most manly me will resort to the; I don’t understand it but I know what I like defence.  This is sad.  If men bothered to understand that, although beauty is seen by all, and misunderstood by most, it boils down to the most basic of the needs of man.  Look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and not may things warrant more than one mention.

The exception is sex and love, which leads one to believe that Maslow understood the infinitely interchangeable nature of sex and love.  Especially in the male psyche.

The bottom line is that men are hard-wired to desire, want, need, cherish, protect, nurture, provide for, and conquer women.  If you don’t want to take my word for this I suggest you begin with biology, and then move on to psychology.

In the Year of Our Lord 1753, (or 1772), William Hogarth published The Analysis of Beauty, which basically says that the Line of Beauty is an ‘S’ curve.  The key difference between a man and a woman is that men are square, and women have an ‘S’ curve.  The curvier a woman is, the more she appeals to a man’s basic instincts.  Sorry thinner girls, even a woman’s ideal face is a collection of curves where the ideal face of a man is all angles.

Although each and every man has his own preferences when it comes to the type of ideal women he most desires, wants, and needs, when it comes to the ideal female form men are predictable.  Not many guys want a plank.

Significant money has been squandered by ‘scientists’ to try and determine what the ideal female body looks like, in the eyes of a man, (and a woman).  They may as well have been knitting fog.  The ideal body shape is simple.  Men should be an inverted triangle, all squares and angles.  Women should look like an hourglass, preferably with a large bust.  These are survival symbols for health and fertility.  Scientists should face it Barbie is hot.

Feminists are going to hate all this.  But, face it, most rabid feminists are dog ugly, in the eyes of most men.

There is no everlasting ideal for the shape of a woman.  However, some basic triggers are built into the subconscious of both men and women.  Firm bust, 45/55 breast ratio, up-pointed nipples, wide hips, ample buttocks, a flat belly, long legs, and a face which is not far from the average in proportion, (although a small chin, plump lips, and big eyes hit some powerful triggers).  Fashion and racial preferences change, basic instinct does not.  Marilyn Monroe was generous of mind and body.  At her prime she was 36D, 22, 35.

The Venus de Milo, had she been 5’6″ would have been about 42, 31, 39, which is fat by today’s standards.  Miranda Kerr, who is considered pretty hot, is said to be a 32, 24, 24, but she benefits from great shoulders.  Elke Sommer, said to have the hottest body of all time was a 36B, 22, 36 in her prime.

The common denominator is that all of these ladies measurements plot an ‘S’ curve.

49-Delahaye

Expressing The Line Of Beauty

Sadly for the male ego, it goes even beyond the attractiveness or otherwise of women.  The most beautiful car ever made is said to be the classic E-Type Jaguar.  Its line of beauty is an ‘S’ curve, from the phallic bonnet to the swell over the hips, (sorry, rear wheels),  the E-Type embodies sexuality on wheels. Other iconic and desirable cars also exhibit that classic 36, 24, 36 set of proportions.  The Ferrari 246 Dino is modeled on the curve of the female hips, while cars like the 1949 Delahaye are curvacious to the point of obscenity, particularly around the radiator grille.  If you don’t know what I mean by that then I suggest you need to get out more.

The line of beauty, the S curve, is hard wired into the male brain.

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