Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder

wandering through a desolate wasteland of your own making

I guess I have suffered from untreated Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), for most of my life.  I shouldn’t feel so bad because BPD is mostly incurable, and all many of we sufferers can do is learn how to minimise how the symptoms and traits that blight our lives.

As far as possible treatments go…..

Medication is usually neither effective nor recommended for sufferers of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Many suffers of this terrible illness self-medicate with copious quantities of alcohol, marijuana, and other street drugs ~ and then they become addicts.  I’ve tried the booze thing, over and over again, just to escape the pain and suffering.  It works for a while, because a boozer will eventually just pass out.  However, the cure soon becomes worse than the disease.  Too much booze can kill you in so very many ways, and anyone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder will always drink far too much strong liquor.  Eventually one has to stop drinking for a while, and for a while after you stop drinking you might feel so physically ill that you believe you are going to die.

If you are in crisis your doctor might give you a sleeping pill or tranquilizer, but should not ever prescribe more than a week’s supply ~ there is too much danger that someone suffering from BPD will take an overdose, possibly in an attempt to kill themselves.

Your doctor may prescribe Prozac, (fluoxetine), which is an SSRI, (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor), an antidepressant used to safely treat depression, anxiety, OCD, (obsessive compulsive disorder), maybe Bipolar Disorder, and eating disorders.  Prozac makes you want to commit suicide.  When you stop taking Prozac you will have some unpleasant withdrawal symptoms.

In a tiny study, (of 12 patients suffering from BPD), all showed some improvement after taking Prozac over an extended period, but none in the trial had suffered from terrible depression.  Nowhere is Prozac said to be an effective treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder.

Of the talking therapies, current thinking is that Dialectical Behavior Therapy, (DBT), is most effective at treating BPD.  The thing about DBT is that it focuses on honestly accepting who we are, and that is the real key to living a good life if you have fucking Borderline Personality Disorder.

Good luck in finding a counselor skilled in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or getting the funding for the long and intensive course of treatment you really need.  The best you might get is some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is where Dialectical Behavior Therapy came from in the first place.

Personally, I have found a great deal of benefit just watching and listening appropriate podcasts on internet sites like YouTube.  What I have learned is that no matter how fucking chaotic, evil, and negative my feelings are, I DO NOT NEED TO LET MY NEGATIVE FEELINGS AFFECT MY BEHAVIOUR.

Some say that they never realised that they were acting like a jerk, or a bitch.  And that they thought that everyone had distressing feelings all the time.  All I know is that I can be a cool guy, living a really great life ~ even though I have an incurable personality disorder.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

even in the short term drinking will not help people with a problem

Scenes on Sunday ~ Arizona

in Arizona they salt margaritas, not sidewalks and roads

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Watermelon Margaritas

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

in Arizona, nothing but a Mustang convertible will do.

 

The Physical Benefits of Yoga

Be where you are, not where you think you should be.

My post earlier today was about rain ~ sort of.  Doing yoga in the warm summer rain is uplifting.  Yoga in the foothills of the Himalayas must be even more so.

Yoga is a 5,000 years old form of exercise that is focused on strength, flexibility, breathing, and mindfulness to boost physical and mental health and wellness.  Yoga is safe, effective, and beneficial ~ especially when it comes to increasing your strength, flexibility, balance, and inner peace.  Yoga tends to improve posture, and far too many people slouch these days, up to and including me, at times.  There is strong evidence that regular yoga has a positive impact on people who suffer with high blood pressure, cardio-vascular diseases, arthritis, migraines, IBS, fibromyalgia, sundry aches and pains, lack of mobility, depression, and anxieties.  I just find that spending time every day doing a little man-type yoga makes me feel better.

Scientific studies on the physical benefits of yoga show that it helps to alleviate the pain and stiffness of osteoarthritis, but, the symptoms of arthritis can make some yoga positions difficult and painful in themselves.  However, whatever yoga one can do helps improve the arthritis sufferer’s range of movement, and strengthens the muscles around painful joints.  Those with the autoimmune disease of rheumatoid arthritis also benefit from yoga ~ there will be improvements in overall physical health, walking, energy levels, mood, and reduced pain.

The purpose of yoga is to build strength, awareness, and harmony in both the mind and body.  ~  Natalie Nevins, M.D.

The physical benefits of yoga include:

  • increased flexibility
  • increased muscle strength and tone
  • much improved posture
  • prevents cartilage and joint breakdown
  • improved bone density
  • helps the lymphatic system and boosts immunity
  • helps to fight cancer
  • better breathing, energy, and vitality
  • better balanced metabolism
  • better weight control
  • improved cardio-vascular health
  • reduces high blood pressure
  • improved athletic and sexual performance
  • protection from injury

There is also strong evidence that shows regular yoga practice leads to an increase in serotonin, and a natural decrease in monoamine oxidase.  What this means is that we feel happier, more positive, more energised, and are less likely to suffer from depression.  For me, happier is good.

Some say that yoga is just for girls and metrosexual guys.  And, that we should all get a grip and concentrate on everyday life.  All I know is that everyday life isn’t everything.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

how long to capture that shot?

it doesn’t really matter,

in meditative Yoga time is immaterial.

Songs on Saturday ~ Rain

some people feel the rain, others just get wet

England, this green and pleasant land, where it rains a lot.

Different from the parts of America, where it’s dusty and hot.

Clouds came floating unbidden into my life, not to carry the life-giving rain, but to hide the beautiful rainbow of love.

Please listen responsibly.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

singing in the rain is not my thing

I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket

Letting Go Of the Past

Those who only look to the past are certain to miss the future.

the past is not real

There is nothing wrong with learning from the past, but the mind can masochistically replay painful memories from our past, or from the pasts of those we may profess to care about.  This dark process will create anger, jealousy, envy, paranoia, and suffering.  Continuously replaying the past, yours or anyone else’s, not only causes immense pain, it also stops us from living a happy and mindful life in the present, and it will make dark all our possible futures.

Because I suffer from a serious personality disorder, I would allow my mind’s stories of the past to contaminate and blight my whole life, without learning very much at all.  I continuously carried around with me all the pain, suffering, grudges, resentments, and jealousies ~ sometimes from things that happened years before, and often from things others did years before I even knew them.

This is self-destructive.  Continuously replaying the past can create a self-fulfilling prophecy.  My dwelling on thoughts of the past, my own or anyone else’s, will lead to similar events happening in the future.  This process of reliving the past is more like self-torture than a positive learning process, because there is one thing you should know ~ no matter who you are, you cannot fix the past.

When we replay the past in our minds we relive all the big mistakes we made, all the bad things that happened to us, and all the horrible things that people have done to us.  And, the terrible thing is that some of those horrible things probably happened before whoever did them even met us, or knew who we were.  This distorted and paranoid view of the past becomes impressed on our subconscious, which then uses it as a template to deal with the present, and projects it into a dark and painful future.

When we listen to our mind’s stories about what should have happened, about what we or others should have done, we are no longer experiencing real life, we are instead lost in the subconscious mind’s paranoia, suspicion, and judgmentalism.  This leads to pain, stress, anger, anxiety, guilt, and apathy.

We all need to find a way of letting go of the past, for the past is nothing but a memory, and memories aren’t real life.  Other than counselling, working with a psychologist, hypnosis, self-hypnosis, or psychotherapy, I only know of one way to reprogram the subconscious mind so that any memories of the past are no longer painful and dark.  To act ‘as if’.  Act ‘as if’ the past isn’t painful, that it no longer bothers you, that the past no longer causes suffering, grudges, resentments, and jealousies.  Do that well enough, for long enough, and that will become your new reality.  It may take a year.

Some say that he’s an evil bastard just because that’s how he acted in the past.  Or that she’s an alcoholic addicted tramp because she used to drink too much, smoke pot, and screw around.  All I know is that the past is another country.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

don’t look back to a dark past,

live in the present

 

Food on Friday ~ Mostly Chicken

I will respect this liver.  After all it’s not mine. ~ George Best

So, I’m working on this healthier eating plan, with the avowed aim of being fitter, healthier, and detoxing my body ~ especially detoxing my liver, which is the body’s chemical factory.

The most important thing for most of us to do if we want to be fitter, healthier, and have a cleaner liver is to give up booze.  If you take a drink the liver will stop whatever it’s doing and start to process alcohol, and your liver will do bugger-all else until all the booze has been flushed from your system.  George Best, was one of the greatest soccer players of all time, he died in 2005 of alcoholism after having a liver  transplant.

As well as giving up booze I’m also not going to eat dairy, including eggs, and I won’t touch anything at all containing wheat flour, or high-fructose corn syrup.  I don’t want to consume  the weedkiller that’s routinely sprayed on those crops and persists right up to the point we take the glyphosate into our bodies.

First this week we have a very healthy looking dish from Simply Recipes; green bean salad with lemon and dill by Summer Miller.  I guess for most of us this would be a side-dish, but I’d be pleased to have just this for lunch, (maybe with some cherry tomatoes).

Green Bean Salad with Lemon and Dill

From Jessica Merchant at How Sweet Eats how about this cool looking crispy baked Parmesan chicken with lemon arugula.  I know I said I wasn’t eating dairy, but a little Parmesan is more than just OK, it makes this dish.  Chicken is a very low-fat meat, and I’m trying for a low-fat diet.

Crispy Baked Parmesan Chicken with Lemon Arugula

Another brilliant chicken dish, this time from Tiffany at Creme de la Crumb.  This one pan garlic herb chicken and asparagus looks brilliant, and if I’m so minded I guess I would use extra virgin olive oil instead of butter.  I love one pan meals, so easy to clean up afterwards.

One Pan Garlic Herb Chicken and Asparagus

Heidi at Foodie Crush has posted this Thai basil chicken, (Pad Krapow Gai).  I must try this, Heidi says it’s easy and I really like all the ingredients she’s listed.  Especially I want to try cooking with coconut milk.  I think I’d serve this with wild rice and quinoa, which I can get at my favourite supermarket.

Thai Basil Chicken

Dana Shultz, the Minimalist Baker, has these ultra-healthy sounding crispy miso chickpea bowls with garlic sesame dressing.  It seems this is a 10 ingredient bowl ~ I can cope with that.

Crispy Miso Chickpea Bowls with Garlic Sesame Dressing

And, finally for this week, Teigan Gerard at Half Baked Harvest offers us these weeknight 30 minute coconut curry chicken meatballs.  Never mind weeknight, these would be great to serve when you have friends around.

Coconut Curry Chicken Meatballs

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

healthy eating needs oily fish

foil pack grilled salmon with lemony asparagus

 

 

Honesty and Openness

Trying to make sense of crazy will drive you crazy.

working late again

There is a truism that everybody lies all the time.  People lie the most to those they are closest to, and often tell the honest and open truth to those that don’t matter at all.  The lies might be deliberate untruths, or a lie may be not telling the whole truth.  A lie by omission is still a lie.  Perhaps the biggest and most hurtful lies are when someone you care for just doesn’t tell you anything at all about something important to your relationship.

The biggest lies, the most lies, are about money and sex.  Someone who cheats on a partner is going to need to weave an immense tissue of lies.  Someone who steals, spends their partner’s money, dissembles, deceives, tricks, and seduces will undoubtedly always have been a liar, and will always be a liar ~ especially they will lie to themselves.

Because liars do not just lie to others, and since they also and always lie to themselves, they often don’t understand honour, honesty, and truth .  Trust me I’ve been there, I have compulsively lied to others, told tall tales, lied by omission, and lied to myself.  Maybe that was not my fault.  For years I suffered from a serious and undiagnosed personality disorder, an emotional illness that I found more than ordinarily difficult to cope with.

Being honest and open takes courage.  Finding an acceptable way to tell an uncomfortable truth takes a lot of emotional energy.  Letting someone know the real you by telling the unvarnished truth is not something many are prepared to do.

I appreciate people who tell me the truth in a gentle way, even when it’s tough to say.  ~  Karen Salmansohn.

Even harder than always telling the truth when asked is being open ~ allowing another person into your comfort zone, letting down the barriers you’ve built precisely to stop others from knowing the real you.  Not many are prepared to let anyone else know who they really, really used to be, are now, and their dreams, desires, and wishes for the future.  These are the most personal things imaginable, often difficult and painful to even think about, let alone talk of.  But it’s precisely because these things in our past, present, and future may be difficult, painful, embarrassing, shaming, and outside of societies accepted ethics that we should be prepared to share them openly and honestly with those we care for the most.

Some say that they never tell a lie, and that is always a lie.  And that they never hide the real truth, and that is always untrue. All I know is a a man is never more honest than when he admits himself a liar.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

and some people can’t help themselves

they are compulsive liars and always will be

walk away

Reflections of Despair

I know not age, nor weariness, nor defeat.

~

far off a beaten warrior

as seen in a winter mirror

his life a long road to nowhere

no noble quest, no gentle lover

no castle no princess in a tower

and by the path of this beaten warrior

dark thorns abound, no leafy bower

and the rabid black wolf cowers

from the constant defeated anger

the warrior has suffered a year

as for hope, that will never

lighten his burden of error

for the dragon’s fiery terror

he is doomed to endure evermore

and all he prays is to die

to sleep forever more

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Run Baby Run

she learned to run from what she feels, right into a nightmare

~

she left her job in an office

bought herself a Mustang

now she’s dealing blackjack

in the bright lights of Las Vegas

turning tricks on Saturday nights

she wants to leave Las Vegas

make an end to the nightmares

they say suicide is painless

she needs to be alone tonight

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

what happens in Vegas

stays in your memories forever

Evening

evenings are a time to forget past mistakes

~

I don’t want to know your life story

I don’t need your intimate history

all I want to do is walk with you

in rapture wandering aimlessly

by evening’s calming seas

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

every evening I get closer

to nature’s healing power

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