Christmas Gift


I don’t want a lot for Christmas

Some simple things will do

Please don’t make a fuss

What I want the most is you

I know that I’m not blameless

But my heart is kind and true

Strange to date an actress

Your films are rather blue

Artistic in their blueness

I didn’t have a clue

Be good to me this Christmas

And, I’ll be good to you

Let’s turn this Christmas Day

Into our perfect day


model kate nilsson

The Santa Clause

Santa and escortSanta_NORAD_Jet_Fighters

It’s seven days until December 24th, and right now the Duty Officer at NORAD will be opening that day’s standing orders.  Along with all the secret stuff is one unique and special section, The Santa Clause.  This clause contains the operational details for tracking and escorting Santa’s sleigh on that critical night.  NORAD, the USAF and the RAF ensure that Santa has completely empty airspace on his run ~ it’s considered bad form for Rudolf to have to alter course to avoid a transpacific Jumbo 747.

aircraft_blackbirdNorad has been tracking Santa’s movements since 1955, and in today’s uncertain times the USAF and RAF provide a fighter escort for Santa’s sleigh.  For most of the run the latest operational fighter aircraft are used.  However, because of the sleigh’s time~warp capability, the USAF keep a secret flight of the SR71 Blackbird to escort the sleigh on the transatlantic and transpacific legs of Santa’s Christmas Eve deliveries.  Only the Blackbird has the high-altitude / high-speed / long-range capability needed to keep up with Rudolf.

Santa’s team of reindeer pulling the sleigh are ~ Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, Blitzen, and Rudolf.  The number of mythical beings who can handle a nine-in-hand team of reindeer is exactly one ~ Santa.  In the week before Christmas the reindeer have a special addition of mince pies and sherry added to their diet.  It’s all right, the team more than work off the extra inches on their Christmas Eve run.

Elf at NoradNORAD has an official Santa Tracker at, and a help desk staffed by NORAD’s own people and elves.  Anyone wanting to know exectly how long it is before Santa starts out on Christmas Eve, and his exact position on that night should log on to the North American Aerospace Defense Command.  (The brunette in the Santa hat is an elf.)  NORAD takes Christmas very seriously indeed.

Christmas is the gentlest, lovliest festival of the revolving year ~ and yet, for all that, when it speaks, it’s voice has a strong authority. ~ W.J. Cameron

Christmas ~ amazing facts and total myths.  Back in 2013 Jack Collier had the assistance of the elves to compile a list of the most surprising things you never knew about Christmas.  As the BIG DAY approaches it’s worh reminding yourself of these vital snippets of information.

The North Pole ~ Santa at Home.  As everyone who is anyone knows, Santa lives at the North Pole.  Jack Collier was also granted unique access to Santa’s inner sanctum, and this expose from 2013 tells you all you need to know about Santa’s Grotto.

Santa, despite his jolly demenour, is very much a man’s man, but unlike every other man in the multiverse, Santa knows exactly what girls want for Christmas.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~ George Carlin

Santa’s naughty and nice list is now stored on the internet.  The list is protected by a password so complex that the Large Hadron Collider is needed to make sense of it.

sleighThe sleigh is now jointly maintained by the elves and a secret squad from one of Formula One’s Grand Prix racing car teams.  Although, technically, the sleigh doesn’t weigh anything at all, some sections of the operating parts are being replaced with high-tech carbon fibre.  The sleigh has no magical properties until the team of reindeer are in harness.

Santa’s sack is looked after by Doctor Who, because, as we all know, the sack is much bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.  How else would all the toys for the good little girls and boys fit in there?  The Doctor will be busy saving The Earth from extraterrestrial peril at Christmas.

If you are under the age of 10, you may be lucky enough to see Santa in your home on Christmas Eve.  If you do see Santa it means that you are a very good little girl or boy indeed.

May peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through.


Love’s Last Day

red dawn

Goodnight my Love

I must sleep

while you work the day


I was wrong my love

to hurt you so

that you sent me away


Adieu mon amour

je souhaite pour toi

un jour heureux


Take care my love

I won’t look back

when I walk away

I climb these stairs

and leave my love

to go her sweet, sweet, way


words and pictures by jack collier

After The Sunshine




Baby do you know what you did today?

Baby do you know what you took away?

You took the blue out of the sky

All that changed when you said goodbye

And, I keep on crying, just crying

Blue Baby, Blue Baby, Blue Baby

I wish I never saw the sunshine

I wish I never saw the sunshine

And if I never saw the sunshine Baby,

Then maybe, I wouldn’t mind the rain



Chaos Theory, Fractals, and Oneness

Chaos ~ complete disorder and confusion

Chaos in Clouds


Invention, it must be humbly admitted, does not consist in creating out of void but out of chaos. ~ Mary Shelley

As well as disorder and confusion, Chaos also refers to the behaviour of complex systems where outcomes are so unpredictable as to appear random, which they are not.  Even chaos is predictable.  Hence, the branch of pure mathematics called Chaos Theory has a host of ‘practical applications’.  All of these are disciplines where tiny differences in the initial condition of a model produce wildly different outcomes.  Sometimes this is called the butterfly effect.  One of the major applications of chaos theory and the butterfly effect is in meteorology ~ forecasting the weather.  The mathematics of the butterfly effect are mind-bendingly complicated, but an easy to remember illustration is that the flutter of a butterfly’s wing can cause a typhoon halfway around the world.  This may, or may not, be true.  However there is nothing in mathematics or physics that says it is impossible.

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s eventually going to be a butterfly.  ~  R. Buckminster Fuller

Chaos theory differs from probability theory in that one tries to predict the future while the other says that predicting the future is impossible.  Both are true in life.  Most of life is safe and predictable, but it is as well to remember that Shit Happens.  Life has some very predictable things in it, such as gravity and death, but there are also some unexpected events which we should expect to happen from time to time.  Unexpected events such as; love, stock market crashes, icebergs…

Life happens.  Shit happens.  And it happens a lot.  To a lot of people. ~ Colleen Hoover

split-in-two-nautilus-shellChaos theory also relies upon the Fractal nature of the universe.  Fractal basically means something that cannot be represented by classical geometry, and looks the same whatever size and whatever portion of the whole we are looking at.  It becomes really complex when we try to understand a fractal curve.  Some say that a fractal curve represents the nature of God.  And, that God is part of the infinite cosmos.  All I know is that I have to understand that by trying to understand a spiral, which has some very complicated math to explain it.  Even a two-dimensional logarithmic spiral, (such as the Nautilus shell illustrated), is quite complex ~ three dimensional spirals even more so.

Fractals and Oneness  It would seem that the universe began in a state of oneness, as a singularity.  Since the Big Bang, the universe has become incredibly, infinitely labyrinthine and convoluted.  There is also a oneness theology which expresses the concept of God as a singularity.

InfinityThis leads us to belive that everything is ultimately expressed in the infinite,  in particular, the infinite nature of God.

Infinity is almost impossible to comprehend in the mind of man, and therefore so is God.  Man quails before the unforgiving infinities.  In order to make human sense of God we make him smaller, anthropomorphic…  give Him a name.  In my own case my higher power is the Goddess Isis ~ understandable, personal, merciful.  Isis concerns herself directly with my fate and actions.  A long way from the infinity of the cosmos and probably a long way from the true nature of God.

I believe in Spinoza’s God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with the fates and actions of human beings. ~ Albert Einstein.

An apocryphal story says that Einstein proved the existance of God by proving that Cold does not exist.

Chaos theory says that I cannot predict the future.  Fractals and oneness say that reality is a contradiction of infinite complexity and infinite simplicity.  The concept of my personal Higher Power, Isis, helps me make sense of the cosmos.

IsisGoddess Isis ~ (google images)

words and pictures by jack collier

Stairway From Nowhere

Stairs go up as well as down


At the bottom of the stairs

Where tears meet the sea

A long way from the stars

A stone’s throw from sadness

Time stands still before me

Don’t know why she didn’t come

On the stairway of my life

Nothing but ardent spirit

In the desert of my heart

Desolation and disillusion

I am history without her

At the bottom of the stairs



words and pictures by jack collier

All Those I Have Harmed



The sun is still well below the horizon but its light reflects from the clouds and dawn is not long away.  I could see the horizon, so it was Morning Nautical Twilight.

This far North, first light in the middle of December came at 0735.  Most people don’t realise just how far north England lies ~ my little town is as far north as the Gulf of Alaska and the Canadian cities of Alberta, Manitoba, and Ontario, about 55N.  And, today it is cold for England ~ about 22F.

Some may ask what I was doing on the cold sea-shore well before first light?  The thing is I had not been to bed at all.  The thing is sometimes memories, regrets, and guilt haunt my midnight.  The nightmares, werewolves, harpies, and the faces of those I have wronged come back to remind me of my vile misdeeds.

If I was ever going to live with myself there was something I needed to do.

I have made a list of everyone I have really harmed, not including myself.  Without exception they are women I have had some kind of relationship with.  I seem to have had an uncanny ability to fuck-up every relationship I have ever had.  Perhaps relationships are something that I never learned to understand.

Even when a woman walked out on me, it was my fault and I had hurt her along the way.

I think I have always acted as an English Gentleman.  Sometimes it was just an act, and sometimes an English Gentleman can be a cruel, unfeeling, heartless bastard.  Too often I gave money and material things instead of love and affection.  Too often I put my own transitory gratification ahead of what could have been good and fine in my life.

Relationships and illicit affairs came and went.  When in trouble I would hide in the bottom of a bottle or run away to work in another city, on another continent.  Facing up to what was wrong did not occur to me, especially since what was wrong was me.

Of the bad things I have done, affairs with married women is probably among the worst.  They could never end well, and someone was almost bound to get hurt along the way.  In that kind of an illicit affair there is a family to consider, and I never did.  Some say that it takes two to tango.  And, that the woman must share some of the blame.  All I know is that I can charm the very birds from the trees, and I had a great deal of money to throw around.

For my own sanity I need to deal with this.

Step 8.  Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. ~ The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

img123137Making amends to all these women could take the rest of my sorry life.  In some cases, for one reason or another, the only way I can make amends is to stay out of the rest of their lives.

The picture is of just one of the married women I had an affair with.  Now there is no chance for me to hurt her again, or even to make amends.  Living with that is a small price for me to pay for everything I have done wrong.


words and pictures by jack collier


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