Cooking for the Cool Man #3

Not to be read by women

Easy Ham and Eggs


Good ham and eggs can be a lot more difficult then one might think.  Especially the presentation if you don’t want runny egg all over the plate.

SECRET  #1  If you want to impress anyone with your cooking, never serve a messy plate ~ and runny egg yolk all over makes for a very messy plate.

This dish is very easy, and unless she is a vegan it will satisfy a woman who has stayed over at your place and expects a decent breakfast.  The ingredients are smoked, cooked ham, a couple of eggs, cheese, and some parsley for garnish and to give the finished dish some bite.

P1010667First get a medium-sized pan and saute the ham.

SECRET  #2  Cook your the gammon yourself.  Don’t buy ready-cooked ham from the deli.

Then add the eggs, I don’t beat the eggs outside the pan, there’s no point, and I don’t add milk, maybe just a little butter.  Beat the eggs in the pan with a non-metallic spoon.  When the eggs are almost cooked, add the cheese, and beat some more.

SECRET  #3  Buy some ready grated cheese.  Grating cheese for yourself is a thankless task and the grater takes ages to wash properly.

Serve with coffee and toast.  Tear the parsley into bits and sprinkle over the ham and eggs just before eating.

This dish takes no more than 10 minutes from start to finish, unless you have a very slow coffee machine.  Don’t burn the toast, and don’t butter it for her ~ let her do that herself if she prefers buttered toast.

Also offer her more toast and marmalade ~ a choice of brown and white bread toast is good.


P1010666words and pictures by jack collier

moine guerrier, esprit universel

The China Syndrome



There is an impossible scenario which describes what happens when a nuclear reactor runs away.  It’s called the China Syndrome.  Instead of the whole thing going ‘boom’ it gets hotter.  Very much hotter.

Sometimes ‘boom’ is better.

Slow disillusion in a relationship.

Sadly there is every chance of a meltdown.

Sometimes ‘boom’ is better.


words and pictures by jack collier

moine guerrier, esprit universel

Free Shopping Everyday

Money and a woman are soon parted.


Rain in Bangkok

Sunshine in Madrid

Bach in Barcelona

and a Paris frock

Hock from the Rhine

fruit of the vine

Robert Garioch’s

Athens of the North

New York, New York

and Saks on fifth

time to take stock

will she ever be mine?

Not now I’m flat broke.


keptjack collier

moine guerrier, esprit universel

(whoever took that shot could have done better with her mainicure, unless they wanted to make her look like a slut)

Rule #2

On the occasion of my birthday rule #2 was suspended.

Rule #2 is ‘nobody is allowed in the garret.’


Would whoever came with these things, kindly reclaim them.

And, will the women I still owe money to please sober up enough to collect.


bay_area_karaoke_party_dj_san_francisco_napa_valley_sonoma_beniciajack collier

moine guerrier, esprit universel

Please let me go

Love of a vixen to the death


I love you but

Please let me go

Please forget me

I know not why I so

love you as I do

Please forgive me

I cannot stay and

I can never go away

Please forewarn me

before you break

my poor heart again

Please don’t fault me

for just sitting, hating

watching and waiting

Please forget me

I can’t live with lying

or maybe I’ll die trying

Please do not fascinate me more

Please let me go


girlwithgunjack collier

moine guerrier, esprit universel



Cooking for the Cool Man #2

Not to be read by women

Prawns with Green Beans


This is a 20 minute, one pan dish.  Most women will not believe you can cook a meal without trashing your kitchen.  Prove them wrong.

You want a pan you can fry in, I use a small, non-stick, wok.  Splash a little good olive oil ino the pan and turn on the heat on your hob, (about 75%).

P1010655The vegetables should be cut into pieces about one and a half inches by a quarter of an inch, (the size of one green / string bean cut in half).  Start with the onion / shallots and tip that into the pan when the oil is hot.  Then, and in this order, add to the pan, the trimmed green beans, a couple of cloves of garlic, (chopped).

Then we want about 4 – 6 ounces of smoked ham.  I used a couple of slices of a gammon I cooked at home.  Tear this into pieces about an inch square and chuck that in the pan.  After a couple of minutes add a small splash of soy sauce.  (A dessert spoon should do it, more if you are going to serve this dish with plain rice.)

SECRET NUMBER 1  When you have anything like this in a pan, over a high heat, keep stirring your dish or it will burn.

SECRET NUMBER 2  This dish works with caramelised onion / shallots.  This is easier than women would have you think.  The Echalion shallots I use caramelise very easily, but the soy sauce and the fact that they are going to be sautéed for 15 minutes should caramelise even generic onions.

After a couple of minutes turn down the heat to about 50% and add the red pepper.  Cook this until the green beans are to your taste, (I like mine fairly al dente.)

When you’re happy with the beans, serve this onto a warm plate.  Add another splash of oil to the pan and turn the heat up as far as it will go.  When the oil is hot add the prawns and ginger.  Fresh ginger is best, but if you have that in your larder you probably don’t need my advice.  Cook for just a couple or three minutes.  (You can use sweet chilli sauce instead of ginger.)

Serve with a good beer.  I like Singha or Tiger with this dish.

It doesn’t get much easier than this.


P1010656recipe and pictures by jack collier


moine guerrier, esprit universel



Divine Feminine

Not all men have known a Goddess


She may seem cruel but she will also be kind.

A Goddess may not be pretty but she will be beautiful.

A Goddess may not always be gentle but she will always care.

Your Goddess is a real Lady and you had better treat her as such.

Your Goddess will act like a bitch and a tramp whenever she feels like it.

She will never give you direct advice, so you had better listen to every word she utters.

As well as words your Goddess uses a myriad of subtle means to communicate with you.

In smiles, glances, tone of voice, tilt of the head, she will try to teach you what she can.

You are never far from her thoughts, she watches over you and cares for you.

A Goddess is strong and certain, but you can hurt her without thinking.

Your Goddess will forgive you anything but she will never forget.

She Loves you in a way you can never truly understand.

A real man loves his Goddess in return.


Aphroditejack Collier

moine guerrier, esprit universel


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