All the nice girls love a sailor


yo no soy marinero

yo no soy marinero

soy carpintero, soy carpintero

una poco de gracia

ay arriba, ay arriba

Bamba, Bamba

solo, carpintero



London 053words and pictures by jack collier

el capitán de su barco

Le Parfum du Maître


Je pense cette morceau est tres doux.

Originally posted on Journaling my Surrender:


Le corps de ​V​otre ​esclave est inondé​e​ de ​Votre fumet.

Piégé dans un pli de sa mémoire,

Il reveille brusquement  les désirs latents

Du ​puissance exquise d’un Maître

Si généreux avec la douleur béate

Cet air subtil, un dangereux trace

Nage autour de Votre corps,

Un parfum sauvage pénétrant Votre chose, ​

l​a transformant en la catin de vos envies

Votre esclave adorante,

Enveloppée dans Votre arôme enivrant,

se donner toute entière à Votre ténèbres​

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Women Will Date a Jerk

All guys are jerks at heart.  It’s just that some of us Real Men have learned not to be a total wassock.


Amazingly, most women will tolerate total jerks.  This surprising fact was again brought home to me when reading a post by a very Cool Lady.  She described some schoolboy phallic humour her guy likes to perpetrate in stores, at her expense.  Among we ‘grown up’ men this sort of sexual ‘joke’ is only funny once, and even then only in exactly the right place and at exactly the right time.

However, I always knew that a cool women will date a jerk.  One only has to watch that mismatched pair to see how many times she rolls her eyes in exasperation at his idiocy to realise that she knows she is with a jerk.

In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Bill Watterson

A grown up man will also befriend a jerk, it’s a man thing, protecting the weaker member of the tribe.  Also a Real Man has an escape clause with jerks ~ when their stupidity becomes too much a man can merely avoid the idiots for a while.  Sadly for women, if you are dating a jerk you don’t really have that option.

Never love someone beneath your level of evolution.  If you want a monkey you can visit one at your local zoo. ~ Shannon L. Adler

There are some clear signs that a guy is a complete jerk, hence to be avoided by sensible women;

  • Jerks talk over their women, never letting them finish a sentence.
  • Jerks think sexual schoolboy humour is funny, in public.
  • Only jerks use twitter.  (Twitter is OK for women, not for real men.)
  • Jerks follow women’s blogs, Facebook, twitter feeds… and make suggestive and inappropriate comments.
  • Jerks talk endlessly about themselves in either a boring or boastful manner. ~ or both.
  • If a guy is stingy, a lousy tipper, and expects a woman to pay for herself, then he’s a jerk.
  • Jerks get embarrassingly drunk at inappropriate times.
  • Only a jerk will try to get his date drunk, offer her drugs, or give her a cigarette when she’s trying to quit.
  • If see a guy wearing stupid clothes, then he’s a jerk.
  • Jerks don’t always wash, shave, clean their nails, trim their nose hair… before going on a date.
  • An honest man does not lie for the sake of it.
  • A male with any ambition to being a man can do almost anything from al fresco cooking to fixing a car at midnight, by the side of the road, in the pouring rain.  Jerks think it’s cool to be useless at ‘practical things’.
  • Jerks never think of their Lady before they think of themselves.
  • A total jerk will have a very boring and useless career and talk endlessly about it.
  • If he rides a bicycle on the footpath, then he’s a jerk.

You talk too much and too damn much of it is about you. ~ Raymond Chandler

Why is it that most women will date a jerk?  There are so many jerks in the world that finding Real Man is difficult.  Therefore many women will ~ reluctantly ~ settle for and even marry a jerk .  In addition, most women think they can transform their partner into something better.

Good luck with that.


cycle_pavementsjack collier

moine guerrier

Memorial Day, Whit Monday, Remembrance Sunday

BBQIn the United States of America today, Monday May 25th, is Memorial Day.  It honours all Americans who died while in military service.  For most Americans today marks the start of the holiday season which ends on Labor Day.  Hence, if my trans Atlantic friends didn’t have a barbecue yesterday, they shall be having one today.–grilling/

horsesToday is also Whit Monday, which is a Christian Holiday and comes the day after  Pentecost which commemorates the descent of the Holy Spirit among the Apostles.  In dozens of countries around the world Whit Monday is the beginning of summer and the start of one of the three weeks of holiday medieval serfs used to be allowed.  Consequently in England most stores are closed on Whit Monday, (White Monday), and many families will be seeking out attractions to visit.  Horse racing is popular on Whit Monday.

In Great Britain and the Commonwealth the war dead are commemorated on Remembrance Sunday, which is the Sunday nearest to November 11th, the anniversary of the end of hostilities in the Frist World War at 11 a.m. on the 11th of November 1918.

This is not a day for barbeques, visiting tourist attractions, or starting a vacation.  Across the United Kingdom, the Commonwealth, and countries of the old British Empire, ceremonies are held at local war memorials.  Wreaths of remembrance poppies are laid and two minutes silence are held at 11 a.m.  Church bells are rung half-muffled.

RemembranceThe Queen, members of the Royal Family, members of the government, serving military officers, ambassadors and high commissioners attend a ceremony at the Cenotaph on Whitehall.  Two minutes silence are observed when Big Ben strikes 11 to mark the minute the guns fell silent.

Why the marked difference in solemnity between the days marking American Military Dead, and the War Dead of Great Britain and the Empire and Commonwealth?  The scars of WW1 and WW2 still run deep in the English psyche.  In WW1 the United Kingdom lost almost a million men women and children.  In contrast the USA, with twice the population, (then), lost 116,708.  Almost every family in England has been touched by war.  Perhaps that is the reason we don’t have barbecues on Remembrance Sunday.  Perhaps it runs deeper than that.



jack collier

Cooking for the Cool Guy

Not to be read by women.

In my unlimitless arrogance and optimism I have published some recipes and cookery tips on this blog.  I am not going to make that mistake again.

P1010833Men can and should become fabulous cooks at home and al fresco.  Women adore a man who can cook and feeds them supurb food.  One of the better ways to get her ‘in the mood’ is to wine and dine her in your apartment.  (But do not forget appropriate music while you are cooking and eating.)

However, the best place to find interesting and informative stuff on all things food related is not on my blog, it’s at specialist cookey / food / booze blogs.  Here are just a few of my favourite sites and some cool recipes / tips:

There is a plethora of cookery / food / booze shows on the TV, catch some, even if you only play them as background noise while you’re doing something more overtly manly.

absintheOn the booze front, find out what she likes and buy that in.  Most women like Prosecco, and Verdicchio, in the lighter whites.  For red wine try a good Barolo.  A couple of words of warning ~ do not let her drink gin, and ‘real’ Absinthe is a female aphrodisiac.

Should you and your date want a potent female aphrodisiac, give her fresh sage in an Italian recipe or try her on sage tea.  But beware, some women can have an immediate and slightly allergic reaction to sage oils.  Also, female sexuality is very complex, you both may find that it takes a few hours for the desired effects of aphrodisiacs in food and drink to manifest hemselves.

ching-he-huangA high proportion of the recipes and tips I use come from attractive and sassy women, and there is nothing at all wrong with that.  Women know what men want better than men do.  And, women know the kind of food that will have your best girl begging for more.  The fact that a lot of these women are good-looking, young and Asian is merely a coincidence.


jack collier

moine guerrier, esprit universel

The First Date

Some guys lack the balls to ask a very attractive woman out on a date, perhaps fearing that she might be annoyed at the very idea.

When a shy or diffident guy finally screws up his courage and asks her out, half the time he is hoping she will turn him down, because that avoids the potential embarrassments of that First Date.

You know what?  Making a success of first dates isn’t rocket science.  Like everything else in this life half of the battle is over if one gets the preparation right.  It all begins before she has said yes.

Have some idea of where you would like to take her, and that is not back to your bedroom or a sleazy motel.  Smart guys don’t just say; ‘Would you like to go out with me?’  The smart guy says something like; ‘I know a really cool place at the beach, would you have dinner with me on…’  A word of warning, if you don’t know a really cool place at the beach, then find one fast, and book a table.

Make certain you have the logistics right.  Date, time, where you are going to meet her, or pick her up in your car.  Get the dress code right and give her a hint.  You don’t want her to look or feel out of place by one of you being grossly over or under-dressed.  Make certain you have enough cash for tips, and enough on your credit card to pay the evening’s bills.

PlayboyGet clean and smart.  Bathe, shave, get a haircut, if your nails are a mess think about a manicure, wear suitable clothes, make certain your outfit is clean and pressed.  Clean your car, women will judge you by your car.

In the unlikely event that you do end the evening back at your place, make certain it is clean and tidy.  Your bathroom should be immaculate, clean towels are a must.  Your bed-linen should be fresh.  Have some end-of evening drinks and suitable music to hand.  Flowers in your place is a no.

It is best to arrive early, but not too early ~ say 10 minutes.  If you are picking her up at her place wait outside until the exact appointed time, then call at her door.  Do not expect her to be ready on time.

Keep the conversation light, and try to draw her out.  Do not talk about yourself so much, do not boast, swear, be aggressive, rude, sexual, or too flirtatious.  Do not get too close or touch her, unless and until she makes the frist move.  Do NOT get drunk.  Do NOT get her drunk.  Make her feel safe and secure at all times.

Expect to pay for everything.  You asked her out and women don’t like mean men.  Tip fairly generously.

Don’t try it on in the car, (don’t get fresh in the car), and take her right home if that is what she wants.

FIRST DATE SEX.  That all depends.  Don’t expect it and don’t sulk if it doesn’t happen.  First date sex is a minefield worthy of separate study.

If the first date was a success, get a firm follow-up date, don’t just say you will call her.  If it is left that you will call her, then call late the following day ~ do not text or email.  Call her.

And, good luck with all of that.


girl-talking-on-cell-phonejack collier

moine guerrier, esprit universel

Wanting Her To Change

Some men want the woman they are with to be different to the woman they first liked.  This is not going to impress her one little bit.

Wanting her to change is often a huge mistake ~ the only thing in this universe we can really change is ourselves.  Trying to change the one you’re with says more about you than it does about her. It says that you are controlling, immature, idealistic…  Wanting her to change says that you don’t see her as a person, you see her as something you want to have sex with, be compliant, look good on your arm, have sex with…

alligatorsChange happens every minute of every day of our lives, but controlling those changes is next to impossible.  The world is just too complicated, so while you are busy fighting off the alligators you will forget that you were supposed to be draining the swamp

Men don’t often change much in a relationship, in fact most men don’t change much at all.  This frustrates women who often see men as more of a project than a person.  The chances are that you showed your true colours to her within seconds of saying ‘hi’.  Her expecting you to change a great deal is usually unrealistic.

Conversely, women are deep, complex, emotional creatures.  She is likely to have hidden depths you could never guess at.  The demure girl you met may turn out to be a tremendous flirt, have her nude pictures all over social media and dating sites, be a stripper, be into heavy BDSM, (look it up).  Or she may be a climate change activist who is very focused on saving polar bear cubs from the melting of the Arctic Ice.  She may even think the internal combustion engine should be banned.

In most relationships, the man starts as an aggressor, makes the first move, is in control, confident in himself.  If the relationship matures men usually lose part of that control and the power will shift more towards her.  So, if she often says that another man is cool and sexy, either live with it or move on because she will not stop doing that hurtful thing.  If she is constantly late, you will never get her to be on time.  If she constantly mentions her ex she will never stop doing that, however much it pisses you off.  If she drinks and smokes too much just try to pick her up when she’s sick.

I once had a girl who wanted to change from a dowdy mouse into a blonde version of Sigourney Weaver.  When I had taught her how to be herself, to be who she really was, she dumped me.

The best a man can do is to try and find a compromise.  Good luck with that.


sig_pornjack collier

moine guerrier, esprit universel

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